I’d want better closing arguments than this…
The whiskey must be flowing in Newfoundland for St. Patrick’s Day, because I just got the most pathetic bit of hate mail I’ve seen in a while. Normally something so uninspired usually comes from someone who has English as a second language (and while the average Newfie can be quirky in their speech, they do still speak English!).
It turns out that this tired statement
You are obviously an ugly fatty who’s not getting any action from any attractive guys sweetheart
is from Lib-left criminal lawyer Averill Baker from Mount Pearl Park, Newfoundland. The whiskey and screech must be so plentiful that Ms. Baker didn’t notice my email policy to the side of the screen. Oh well, not my problem…
Just think. Someone in Newfoundland is going to need a lawyer for something. Someone who can not only present the facts of the case clearly, but who can win over the jury with a breathtaking closing argument.
Based on the unsolicited email I received, they will probably want to call someone other than Averill Baker.
