No, not American Idol. You’re safe from that here at Girl on the Right.

Do any of you watch House? I love Hugh Laurie. I love the snarky character he plays. But am I the only one who thinks that he’s just about the worst doctor ever?

Every episode is like nothing he’s ever seen before! and then he pokes, prods and tortures the patient while coming up with a series of hypothetical diseases before he accidentally figures out what the problem is. How long has this dude been practicing medicine? And worse yet, why do I think he’s every doctor at Montreal’s Lakeshore General Hospital? That’s the only place I’ve ever seen that kind of incompetence writ large in real life.

Has this show been put out and funded by the people for Hillarycare? I mean, maybe they’re trying to get people to lower their expectations before they bring in socialized medicine.

On Wednesday morning Ralph Whitfield Morris, 73, became the second prisoner in the past two weeks with a history of escaping from custody to be placed in a minimum-security jail and to simply walk away.

“Staff discovered [Morris] missing during the early morning hours,” said Dave Lefebvre, a spokesman for Corrections Canada.

Morris has a lengthy criminal record with convictions including:

* Second-degree murder in 1982
* Armed robbery in 1975
* Escaping from custody in 1988, 1990, and 1993

Prison officials defended the decision to put Morris in minimum security.

“Every offender that presents a low risk to public safety is allowed in a minimum-security institution,” said Lefebvre.

But in 2005, the parole board wrote a report on Morris, saying, “You have been shot by police… you are still considered a high risk to escape.”

Even then, the Parole Board granted him parole and later revoked it when he failed to return to a community residential facility.

Incredible. Bureaucratic procedure that says “every prisoner gets” has allowed not one but two murderers to escape from minimum security facilities in the past month. Why even have a parole board if all cases get cookie-cutter treatment?

It was a similar story less than two weeks ago, when Blane MacDougal, a 60-year-old convicted rapist and killer, walked away from Ferndale Institution near Mission. He has yet to be found.

Wonderful. You could put shaved monkeys in charge of the prison system, and you’d still have a pretty decent shot at faring better.

This time from the UK.

First,

London’s Kingsway International Christian Church, the largest church in Europe, no longer has a permanent home. Nor is there much prospect of it finding one in London.

This congregation of as many as 10,000 was forced off its property to make room for the 2012 London Olympics. And now it must hold six Sunday services jammed into a 1000-seat former theatre in East London.

Not far from Kingsway’s former church property is land that has been set aside for a huge mosque complex for as many as 70,000 Muslims. The City of London wants it to be an integral part of the 2012 London Olympic site. This despite the fact that the so-called mega mosque is widely controversial, because it is being built by a secretive group called Tablighi Jamaat, which some have tied to terror.

“Mayor Livingstone is actively courting the Muslim vote. That’s what he’s doing. I also think our secular authorities are actively writing Christianity out of the script,” Craig said.

And another Muslim “no-go” area in Britain,

A COUNCILLOR today called for more control over advertising posters in “culturally sensitive” areas of Birmingham.

Coun Talib Hussain made his plea after a billboard on the corner of Sydenham Road and Golden Hillock Road, in predominantly Muslim Sparkbrook, was defaced.

The hoarding, close to mosques in Anderton Road and Golden Hillock Road and visible to parents and children walking to Montgomery Primary School, promotes Matalan’s new swimwear range and features three scantily-clad models.

The models have been covered in thick white paint to conceal bare flesh.

Coun Talib Hussain (Ind, Sparkbrook) criticised the vandalism but said it was a result of the lack of action from city council bosses. He said: “I condemn the people that did this but at the same time it’s wrong for companies to put that kind of advert in sensitive wards.

“Sensitive”? That’s a bit of an understatement, isn’t it?

So I headed down to the Royal York hotel this morning to catch the Law Is Cool kids’ press conference.

Faisal Joseph (dressed a little like Huggybear in his gold accoutrements, yet looking a lot like a 10th grade English teacher that offers the girls “extra credit”), counsel for the Canadian Islamic Congress, sat amid the all-but-silent Law Is Cool students, who are known to be Mohammed El Masry’s fresh-faced sock puppets.

The CIC (absent Dr. El Masry, who I’m sure was off legitimately plotting to kill Jews over the age of 18) and the Law is Coolers called this press conference to announce that they wanted to make a “deal” with Maclean’s magazine, and to advise that they would drop the HRC complaints if their “deal” was accepted.

Well, I don’t know how winning these students will be at law, but if their career aim is politics, they’re off to a great start: the new deal is exactly the same as the old deal. Publish their rebuttal to Steyn’s “The Future Belongs to Islam”, or they’ll carry on with their suit.

Frankly, this isn’t news. They could have stayed home, I could have slept in, and nothing could have been said, and everything would have proceeded apace. After all, that was exactly what they proposed last year, and Ken Whyte - publisher of Maclean’s - said he’d “rather go bankrupt” than be extorted and have his publication hijacked.

Anyway, that was the body of the press conference. Aren’t you glad you stayed home? For your delight and delectation, here’s some observations about the whole thing.

Faisal Joseph (Huggybear) went on and on about “support from party leaders”, then proceeded to hand out a press pack with one letter of government support - from Jack Layton(!). Not so surprisingly, there were also letters from labor unions. Where Taliban Jack goes, the unions follow.

The letters from OPSEU and the Alliance of Concerned Jewish Canadians that were included in the press pack were marked “DRAFT” - I cannot at this time confirm that they are final documents that were meant for release.

Mr. Joseph mentioned that threats had been made against the Osgoode students for having filed the claim against Maclean’s (they didn’t file the claim, by the way - only the CIC is listed on the actual complaint, but why let a little thing like the truth get in the way?). When a reporter for the National Post asked if these threats were being taken seriously and investigated, Mr. Joseph quickly changed the subject without answering the question. In fact, he then went on to scold the young reporter for the Post for taking up too much time and asking too many questions (at a press conference - oh the nerve of him!). If Mr. Joseph was trying to win friends in the press, he was going about it the wrong way. And what of those death threats?

The basis of the entire complaint is supposedly about having an “equal voice”. As many have said, why not start your own damn magazine and leave ours alone? But nay, they want ours. It’s part of the growing phenomenon of Sharia Creep. The darlings have been published in the Toronto Star with a Saturday circulation nearing 450,000 and a weekday circulation of just under 400,000. Maclean’s, on the other hand, has a weekly circulation of about 350,000. So, who got the better deal? So much for the “equal voice” argument.

You can read Kathy’s meltdown here. She was with me, frothing at the mouth, and is now bruised on one side where I kept elbowing her to behave. Five Feet of Fury, indeed. I found it amusing, but then again, I still have both clitoris and humor intact - unlike some religions I could mention.

The Nutzis are back!

Bullies use peanut butter to threaten kids with allergies

Ok, ok. Let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way first. Kids get bullied and beaten up all the time, and maybe it’s more dangerous (it’s certainly more comical) to threaten a kid with a peanut butter sandwich. It’s also really dangerous to throw rocks at kids, too. So, if you’re reading this, kids, don’t throw rocks or peanut butter sandwiches at other children. It’s wrong.

But people, you are hysterical! From the comments of the article:

Kim Philby from Ottawa, Canada writes: This kind of bullying should merit the same reaction as bullying by pointing a loaded gun.

John Smith from Ottawa, Canada writes: This gives credence to retroactive abortion.

Dear God. Is this for real? Let’s retro-abort the healthy 7-year old who smeared the weaker 7-year old with peanut butter. Let’s throw him in jail, because his behavior is akin to waving a gun around.

This is exactly the kind of hysterical behavior that marginalizes kids with “special issues”. You know what else causes deadly anaphylaxis? Bee stings. My school yard had an apple tree in it. Apple trees attract bees. Should that tree have been cut down because some kid in the school had an allergy? (let’s completely set aside the bullies who would whip apples at the girls, leaving us bruised and often bleeding - ban apples!!)

I asked a military friend of mine, “Does the Army allow people with peanut allergies to sign up?”

“Yeah.” (Army guys aren’t very wordy)

“So, how do they keep from getting sick?”

“They don’t eat peanuts.”

Made sense to me!

Look, every parent wants school to be a safe place for their kids. But any parent with a shred of memory should know that the schoolyard is inherently dangerous, because it’s filled with other people’s children! They fight - sometimes arms and teeth even get broken. They have food fights. They pick on the weaker kids to make themselves feel better. Nobody gets out of school without scars - be they emotional or physical.

But to liken a bully with a sandwich, who might kill one kid with a designer allergy, to a psycho with a gun who could shoot up his entire class - as has happened on too many occasion in the last few years - is irresponsible, ridiculous, callous, and hysterical.

I saw this article in the Daily Mail, and it gave me flashbacks.

One secretary, Jackie Roberts, 21, of St Albans, Hertfordshire, said: “My boss is pretty good really, but he does sometimes get me to do silly things.

“Last week he got me to valet his car and then he asked me to peel an apple for him because he doesn’t like the skin.”

Another secretary, from Canterbury, said: “My boss once got me to choose a new rap CD for his son - and another time I had to go on Google to find the best way to get red wine out of a carpet.”

An employment agency manager in the town said: “Some bosses seem to have a never-ending supply of stupid jobs that have nothing to do with the office.”

One in ten secretaries surveyed admitted their paid worktime had been spent fibbing to bosses’ spouses about their whereabouts.

Other tasks included organising a 16th birthday party for a boss’s daughter, surfing a dating website to look for a suitable partner and checking for a favourite team’s football score.

In my neck of the woods, it was buying long underwear for a ski trip, talking to the insurance company about medical problems while pretending to be my boss, finding not one but five different furnished apartments over the years, and helping her move. On a workday. Using company boxes. All this in addition to being an incredible on-the-job performer, and being taken entirely for granted.

A 17-year-old boy was rushed to St. Michael’s Hospital today after he was stabbed multiple times on the basketball court of a downtown high school.

Police say the boy was stabbed in the schoolyard at Parkdale Collegiate on Jameson Ave. just before noon.

The boy will survive, but sadly, the irony will be lost.

From the guys at The Nose on Your Face.

What do you think would happen if you gave a drug addict $10,000? How about $20,00 to a self-destructive alcoholic?

What about those people who have never had money in their lives, and suddenly win the lottery? We all know how quickly and destructively they blow through that cash (disclosure: It took me 18 months to run through the “blood money” I got when my dad died). They didn’t earn it, so it means nothing to them. Every day is a party, till the funds run out.

First Nations in the Yukon want to know how many deaths followed the arrival of compensation payments to former students of native residential schools.

Aboriginal leaders have noticed a higher than usual number of funerals in communities across the territory in recent months, even prompting one chief to organize a territory-wide prayer circle next week.

No one can say for sure how many of those deaths are attributable to the thousands of dollars in common experience payments going to former students and the social problems, from alcohol and drug abuse to suicide, that can arise from such payments, combined with their recollections of the residential school experience.

So the Council of Yukon First Nations says it will conduct its own count to get some firm numbers.

A prayer circle? Yup, that’ll do it. Beat a few drums and burn some sweetgrass, and surely there will never be another problem in the community again.

Let’s see. He hindered a counterterrorism case, may have tipped off the jihadist more than once, and checked to see if his own name was on the terror watch list. For that he gets six months probation, from a judge who clearly has no idea whatsoever of the larger issues involved in the case. Will he retain his job with the police? Is anyone concerned that he may again aid jihadists who are waging war against the United States? Is anyone with any influence asking these questions at all?

So this cop (a Muslim) screws with an FBI terror investigation, and he gets probation? Probation? Why don’t they just give him a hug and an Easter basket and send him on his way? The Muslims have told us flat out that they want to infiltrate our infrastructure in order to attack and subjugate us. So why are we making every effort to have them working in the police force, the military, at the airport, in our governments…? Are we so full of self loathing that we’re aching for suicide-by-Muslim?

As always happens during discussions about personal responsibility.

Stacy has come down squarely on the banks in the issue of the U.S. mortgage crisis.

Being self-employed for many years; having employee after employee after employee after employee through these years . . . things happen. Phone calls from their debtors asking me for assistance in collecting a debt. My response has evolved from passing on the phone message to now me stating, “Look, you’ve seen their credit report, you knew what their salary was, and you chose to give them credit anyway. Seems to me that you’re having to lie in the bed you made.”

This is kind of a touchy subject with me, because I am one of those po’ folks who should not be given credit. And to make matters worse, I recently lost my job. Sweet, huh? In my case, I can’t actually blame the banks, because unlike some of the uneducated Mexicans and whatnot, I was fully aware of what I was doing, and the consequences of my actions. But yeah, I guess a lot of people can blame the banks - immigrants, the terminally poor… why get their hopes up with a mortgage, only to foreclose on their house in a couple of years. Better just to turn them away, no?

C’mon, people…. how is it that I’ve only had to post two titty shots? What’s going on? Have my readers all turned gay?

Today is LTC Upson’s birthday. He just turned 42. That’s right - a 42 year old man is going to run a full marathon to raise money, and you can’t bring yourselves to make a few clicks on your mouse.

Show him a little birthday love (and I will show warm booby love in return) and click this link to raise money for the USO.

This time, Donovan himself ponied up. After all, it was his idea!

The link for donations is here. Every $100 donation is another booby shot.

And as I’m true to my word, here you go:

I got an email from my former “Angel-ed” one, LTC Kevin Upson, currently of PACOM. This October he will fly to Arlington to run in the Marine Marathon, to raise money for the USO.

During his time in Iraq the USO was a very big part of his life, and the lives of his men (after all, the USO is responsible for the Dallas cheerleaders spending more time in Baghdad than they do in Dallas!). So it’s time for him to give a little something back by raising funds.

Please click the link and drop a few bucks for a good cause. The USO hopes to raise $100k from the Marine Marathon. Can you help?

UPDATE: The ever-helpful John Donovan suggests I offer to show my tits to raise funds. So here’s the deal: For every $100 raised, I will post a saucy pic. For every $200 raised by the lefties who call me an ugly cunt all the time, I will remove the saucy pic. Sound fair? And on and on it will go…

The Canuck-6, to be clear, are bloggers Shaidle, McMillan, Levant, and the Fourniers, along with National Post editor Jonathan Kay. Many of the fundraisers, including Steyn’s, omit Kay for the obvious reason that the Post is covering his six, so to speak. So they become the Freedom Five.

Steyn is offering up 24 hours of profit from books sold at his online store, beginning at midnight tonight. If you don’t already have a copy of America Alone (WTF is wrong with you??), you can get the updated paperback from the store. I noticed it in Indigo last week, and it has a “Soon to be banned in Canada” sticker on it. Cute.

In addition, Binks has some great new shirts for the Blogging Five.

Kathy and I have often said we need our own radio show. After all, everyone is entitled to our opinion! But since we’re both too lazy to actually set one up, it was our pleasure to be invited to Political Vindication for tonight’s show.

I love the innuendo-laden graphic they have for the show, which will center around the free-speech issues here in Canada, and the Canuck-6.

Readers can tune in to the show at 9pm EST, and callers can reach the show at (646) 652 - 4598.

Here’s the link to listen in!

Who knew?

Muslim scientists and clerics have called for the adoption of Mecca time to replace GMT, arguing that the Saudi city is the true centre of the Earth.
Mecca is the direction all Muslims face when they perform their daily prayers.

One geologist argued that unlike other longitudes, Mecca’s was in perfect alignment to magnetic north.

He said the English had imposed GMT on the rest of the world by force when Britain was a big colonial power, and it was about time that changed.

The real world has been keeping me busy for the past few days. And now, I’m lucky enough to have my good friend Stacy in town. We’re off to do girly things like get massages and pedicures, and go shopping. Two redneck gals on the streets of Toronto. This could get bloody!

So head over to Kate’s, or Kathy’s, or Free Mark Steyn. If any comments are pending moderation here at GOTR, please be patient. I’ll get to you when I get to you.

And in case I don’t pop back in, have a great weekend!!