Real men… where art thou?
John Hawkins gives us a great article on real men over at Townhall.
I can’t say that in 2008 I necessarily believe that:
a real man should be able to shoot a gun, catch a fish, hunt, take and throw a punch, know what to do if a tornado or hurricane hits, cook a steak, jump-start a car, change a tire, drive a stick shift, give a firm handshake, read a map, handle a budget, swim, tie a tie, give a 5 minute speech, comfort someone who has just had a loved one die, negotiate a raise or a price on something he’s going to buy, and tell a pushy salesman “no.”
He’s right about the stick shift, though. And the jump start.
While travelling last year, I was lucky enough to find a young man who could jump start my car when the battery died. However, as a modern gal, I’m actually pretty savvy when it comes to spot repairs on vehicles, especially older ones. My first car was a K Car… it’s like a rolling course in mechanics. If you are a parent of a teen about to get his/her license, try to find one of these old rust buckets for them. Not only will it teach them basic mechanics, but they will learn ingenious things to do with duct tape, transmission fluid, and a nail file. They will also learn patience. Lots and lots of patience!
Men have an obligation to treat women with respect, to open doors, to pull out chairs, to pay for dinner on a date, to act in a chivalrous manner — and a real man wouldn’t physically hurt a woman if you put a gun to his head. In other words, a man should show a woman the same respect that he would want another man to show to his sister or mother.
I actually was only recently exposed to this type of “male” behavior. As a Canadian, this sort of thing was long ago feminized out of our culture. But with the ever-increasing amount of time I spend in the US, I find that all is not lost on this front. I’m not saying there are no chivalrous men left in Canada - though most of them are probably vets of WWII. Last year I had a man switch sides on the sidewalk with me, because men are “supposed” to walk on the outside. Really. That this was in inherent feature in this man was astonishing to a Trudeaupian girl like myself.
Additionally, not every man is going to be a president, CEO, or general, but every man should be able to lead and act responsibly when the situation calls for it. He is the one ultimately responsible for his own life, his own family, and for setting an example. Not everybody has the same religious beliefs or version of patriotism, but men should understand that standing up for God, country, and what’s right is important because it sets a much needed example for others to follow.
There have been a few articles over the years from women on what a man should be. It’s nice to see one coming from a man. Very well done, John. Thanks. You give this modern woman hope!
At my age of 67 this used to be the norm when I was younger. You have the feminazi bra burners for the feminsation of men and the fact you get the door shut in your face. One of my sons’ held a door open for a femanist when he was in his teens only to be told to F off so never again. Now I feel the same. You want to be equal hold the door for me and give up your seat on the bus
Comment by Pissedoff — May 16, 2008 @ 12:29 pm
Does it count if I don’t know how to do half those things, but I’m willing to give it a try anyway?
Comment by Bob Hawkins — May 16, 2008 @ 12:54 pm
I used to hold doors open for chicks, but it was only out of the hope of getting laid. These days I’m married, so the chicks I run into out there have to open their own damn doors. After all, there’s nothing in it for me anymore. Besides, if they want to compete against me for a job or dress up like soldiers, cops and firemen, a door shouldn’t be that big a challenge.
Comment by INP — May 16, 2008 @ 2:25 pm
I’ve tried to (and failed to) live up to the Heinlein standard:
“A Man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
Comment by Pete — May 16, 2008 @ 2:56 pm
Where are the real women?
Comment by BillyHW — May 16, 2008 @ 3:01 pm
Real men don’t do those things for the reward, they do it because it is right. Feminazis don’t prevent you from acting like a man, holding the door open for them should put a smile on your face, just knowing how angry it makes the ungrateful snob.
Comment by sluggo — May 16, 2008 @ 3:12 pm
Funny theories there.
From my observations the supply of “real men” diminished following the sharply diminished supply of “real women”.
Comment by WL Mackenzie Redux — May 16, 2008 @ 6:10 pm
Your description of the unlamented K car should have read, “…it’s like a rolling corpse.” Even Iaccoca couldn’t apologize for those cars as it would have finished off Chrysler, loan guarantees or not.
Comment by Pat Patterson — May 16, 2008 @ 9:32 pm
I believe anyone should be able to do those things. Well, tie a tie is a bit one-sided…. Does anyone tie bow ties any more?
But most of things come down to - know how to survive after a Katrina-like event hits your area. Get food. Defend yourself. Keep your transport running. Accept responsibility.
Oh and catching a fish and hunting include dressing game and cleaning fish. Though it has been a long time for either.
Comment by Zendo Deb — May 16, 2008 @ 10:09 pm
Actually, reading the comments ahead of mine, I see a lot of bitter men with a few issues dealing with strong women. Get over it.
Comment by Zendo Deb — May 16, 2008 @ 10:14 pm
Real men may be few and far between and not all can handle that list due to a lack in their upbringing but they are known as “keepers” amongst real women. The fems simply get the leftovers.
Comment by obituary — May 17, 2008 @ 7:42 am
Hmmm, I’m sure a few of you, remember my old ” blog”, and I wrote pretty much the same thing. But since it’s the all knowing “John Hawkins”, it’s a “WOW”.
Good for John, nice to see another man out there who get’s it.
Comment by RegularRon — May 17, 2008 @ 2:31 pm
The thing is, these “a real man should …” speeches are invariably written by men who are in no way representative of the average man. Do you really believe that Heinlen wrote his standard to apply to ever man, from the farmer to the statesman? Hell no. Throughout history, only a small percentage of men would have ever fitted such descriptions. That’s why military officers always came from the “gentry”, the educated elite - because THEY were expected to be capable of such things, and as such were expected to lead the lower classes into battle. If anything, we’ve got more “real men” today than we ever had in history, even if it doesn’t seem that way.
Comment by Alex — May 18, 2008 @ 9:13 am
Last year I had a man switch sides on the sidewalk with me, because men are “supposed” to walk on the outside. Really. That this was in inherent feature in this man was astonishing to a Trudeaupian girl like myself.
Hate to tell you this, but that guy had probably just read some pick up manual that told him this type of thing impresses women. With the rise of PUA (pick up artist) training seminars, books and websites following Neil Stauss’s 2004 book The Game, guys all over the place are reading that kind of advice. Not saying it’s wrong to do it, but it isn’t always pure chivalry. Especially if the guy actually made a point of telling you why he’s switching places, it sounds to me like he’s just doing what he read he’s supposed to do.
I actually agree with the first quoted paragraph entirely though. A man doesn’t have to hunt (I used to, but I can’t stand killing animals now) but he should know how to handle a weapon, like a basic shotgun or rifle, and be familiar with the different actions and loading mechanisms and ammunitions. (I knew all that crap when I was 10.) And he should know how to bait a hook and catch a fish. Changing a tire or jump-starting a car are no-brainers, even if the TV commercials nowadays show the guy calling his girlfriend on his cellphone to come and change his flat for him. I swear, if one of my sisters ever dates a man who can’t jump-start her car or change a flat for her, I will personally see to it that the relationship does not end in marriage, even if I have to neuter him myself. (Maybe that’s another skill the modern man should have - the ability to neuter unacceptable suitors of the women-folk in his family.
)
Comment by Raging Ranter — May 18, 2008 @ 7:17 pm
Last year I had a man switch sides on the sidewalk with me, because men are “supposed” to walk on the outside. Really. That this was in inherent feature in this man was astonishing to a Trudeaupian girl like myself.
Hate to tell you this, but that guy had probably just read some pick up manual that told him this type of thing impresses women. With the rise of PUA (pick up artist) training seminars, books and websites following Neil Stauss’s 2004 book The Game, guys all over the place are reading that kind of advice. Not saying it’s wrong to do it, but it isn’t always pure chivalry. Especially if the guy actually made a point of telling you why he’s switching places, it sounds to me like he’s just doing what he read he’s supposed to do.
I actually agree with the first quoted paragraph entirely though. A man doesn’t have to hunt (I used to, but I can’t stand killing animals now) but he should know how to handle a weapon, like a basic shotgun or rifle, and be familiar with the different actions and loading mechanisms and ammunitions. (I knew all that crap when I was 10.) And he should know how to bait a hook and catch a fish. Changing a tire or jump-starting a car are no-brainers, even if the TV commercials nowadays show the guy calling his girlfriend on his cellphone to come and change his flat for him. I swear, if one of my sisters ever dates a man who can’t jump-start her car or change a flat for her, I will personally see to it that the relationship does not end in marriage, even if I have to neuter him myself. (Maybe that’s another skill the modern man should have - the ability to neuter unacceptable suitors of the women-folk in his family.
)
(I’m posting his again because the first post went medieval with the italics for some reason.)
Comment by Raging Ranter — May 18, 2008 @ 7:21 pm