This book is winging its way to me
I used to be strongly anti-child. Mr. Right and I were happy to be DINKS. My mother was from a huge family (really, whatever number you’re imagining, her family was bigger than that), and so chose to have only one child. Both my parents are dead now, so I have no familial pressure to provide grandchildren.
But then last year, the clock began to tick. And tick. And it hasn’t ceased. I thought it was a phase that would pass; that I could just ignore it. That isn’t going to happen. There will be little Rights running around in the next few years, guaranteed.
I love the way his head nestles in the crook of my neck. I love the way his face falls into a mask of eager concentration when I help him learn the alphabet. But most of all, I simply love hearing his little voice calling: ‘Mummy, Mummy.’
It reminds me of just how blessed I am. The truth is that I very nearly missed out on becoming a mother - thanks to being brought up by a rabid feminist who thought motherhood was about the worst thing that could happen to a woman.
You see, my mum taught me that children enslave women. I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck, and the idea that motherhood can make you blissfully happy is a complete fairytale.
In fact, having a child has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Far from ‘enslaving’ me, three-and-a-half-year-old Tenzin has opened my world. My only regret is that I discovered the joys of motherhood so late - I have been trying for a second child for two years, but so far with no luck.
Alice Walker was - and still is - a man-hating feminist who raised her child, Rebecca, in her madness. In fact, when Rebecca announced she was pregnant, her mother disowned her.
I have a feeling this is going to be a very exhausting and frustrating book to read, but there are still many emotional walls I need to break down before I consider bringing a child into my life.
I just came to your blog from another…. one that ‘quotes’ the media claim of this man’s supposed mental limitations. I suggest you go have a read on multiple stories from somebody that is living a lot closer to the action. I might give you a bit of a different perspective.
Lionheart
I was suspicious of the news reports that you quote, so had a look-see. I’m not suggesting he is absolutely correct, but just an alternate viewpoint.
Cheers and keep up the good fight.
Comment by arctic_front — May 25, 2008 @ 3:36 am
my apologies! Direct this comment to the following one on poor parenting. I made a boo boo.
Comment by arctic_front — May 25, 2008 @ 3:37 am
People don’t decide to have children. They decide to not have children. Having children is the natural outcome of being alive. It happens automatically unless you do something to prevent naure from taking its course. To have lived without experiencing it - without feeling the love, without fulfilling the duty, without passing on your unique (and, may I add, in your case, exceptionally valuable)DNA to someone who can carry a piece of you into the future after you are gone - is to not have lived at all. Those who do not have children have denied themselves the one true experience in life that justifies their very existence.
And W, not everyone breaks down emotional walls to have babies - some have babies who than break down emotional walls. That’s the cool thing about kids, they make you grow in ways that you could never imagine, even by reading a million books.
Comment by INP — May 25, 2008 @ 9:25 am
RG,
You and Rachel Lucas….tick tock.
Comment by Sluggo — May 25, 2008 @ 1:27 pm
Wendy, children are a blessing, albeit a mixed one that asks more than merely genetic material if you want to do it right. I’ll spare you the details, but the punchline is that my wife and I have ’survived’ three kids and are now proud grandparents (which is a distinct advantage for our daughter when she needs a break from the craziness of parenting).
The phrase, ‘It’s the hardest job you’ll ever love’…almost covers it.
My only regret is that if I had it to do over again, I’d have homeschooled my kids, even if that would have disqualified them from certain contests http://michellemalkin.com/2008/05/25/subway-sandwich-shop-no-home-schools-will-be-accepted/
If that link doesn’t come through, just check out Michelle’s site.
Cheers
Comment by John H — May 25, 2008 @ 2:54 pm
Like you I had no desire to have a child and boom one day I decided I want to have one child, sadly that wasn’t to be. You see Wendy we all assume we can have children and get pregnant should we desire, alas that’s not the way it is. There is no reason for my infertility, I’m classified as “Cause unknown”. Twenty years of hoping have past and I still long for a child, a child is a blessing even if you only have one it will be worth it.
The journy to decide on having a child can take you down a path that you can’t change.
Good luck in your decision.
Comment by Rose — May 25, 2008 @ 5:36 pm
If you name your kid Mark Steyn, then you can really say that he’s been in your ovaries.
Comment by BillyHW — May 26, 2008 @ 1:01 am
[…] ALICE WALKER WAS - and still is - a man-hating feminist who raised her child, Rebecca, in her madness. In fact, when […]
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