Conservative politics explained by a coupla bruthas.

Have you seen my goats??

Two of our (yes, “our”) goats took off on Sunday when we were mucking the stalls (imagine this maven of pedicures mucking stalls!!). Today, they were located on a neighboring farm. And this City Girl™ actually went wrangling!

No, really. I wrestled the older of the two (John caught the baby). This is the coolest summer vacation I’ve ever taken!!

The charming and brilliant (his words) John celebrates a birthday today. Beth and I are busy ******** [CLASSIFIED] and ***** ****** [CLASSIFIED] before his return from the office. Go send him some RightGirl lovin’ while we’re busy.

[Not an actual representation of Wendy & Beth - Sadly]

The “on the fly” edition.

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…that no one here at Argghhh! will ever come down with scurvy. The daily count of empty limeade bottles (the integral ingredient in margaritas) is always high. And we are sure not to dehydrate in the hot sun, given the amount of salt on the rims of our glasses.

So, dear readers, know that I am well looked after here at the Castle.

Michael Coren receives an email from an unbalanced (read: biased… or don’t) “journalist” at the CBC who didn’t think Omar Khadr should be anything less than sainted.

Last week I wrote about the case of Omar Khadr and how I had more sympathy for the young medic who was killed when Khadr was captured than for the man currently in custody at Guantanamo Bay. I said that he should have faced a trial by now but that much of the supposed compassion thrown at him was motivated more by hatred of the United States than love for justice and truth.

Hundreds of e-mails arrived, of course. Most in my favour, but many against, which is all a healthy indication of democracy and free speech. One, however, was particularly interesting, in that it was sent by someone who is paid by our tax dollars to be objective and balanced.

“You were kidding, right? No matter. That material is about as funny as a good old-fashioned waterboarding joke. Disgraceful.” Richard Goddard goddardr@cbc.ca. o (+001) 416-205-5950 f (+001) 416-205-5731. Q on CBC Radio ONE. Canada Qs up: Afternoons 2 - 3:30, Evenings 10 - 11. Shipping Address: Office 2H109-D, Canadian Broadcasting Centre, 205 Wellington St. W., Toronto, Ont. M5V 3G7.”

Perhaps we’ll soon have another taxpayer funded, commie, terrorist fellator leaving us for the sunnier climes of the arid and evil Al Jazeera.

Who knew that the “negative public attitudes” toward Muslims came from us Christian folk? I mean, really, I woulda thought it came from, oh, maybe Muslims who blow things up and kill innocent people! Shame on me for being so misguided.

The Government ’should take energetic measures to eliminate this phenomenon and ensure that authors of such acts of discrimination on the basis of religion are adequately deterred and sanctioned’.

The committee expressed concern over the Government’s plans to extend pre-trial detention of terrorist suspects from 28 to 42 days. Suspects should be brought to court ‘within a reasonable period of time, or released’.

Those suspected of being involved in terrorism and subject to control orders and curfews limiting their movements should be ‘promptly charged with a criminal offence’ and their lawyers given access to the evidence against them, it added.

The committee also called on the Irish Republic to open up its largely Roman Catholic primary school system to secular-education.

Ah ha, the real crux of the matter. It has nothing to do with protecting the terrorists, it has to do with banning Christianity. The Brits are trying once more to turn Ireland away from Catholicism, and this time they are using the threatening interloper to do it.

Whatever the reason, I doubt very much that the bulk of Britons will be any nicer to the undeserving Muslim population than they already are. I would say Britain has been more than tolerant of an influx of people who come to their shores to wreak havoc and take over. If the politically correct and human rights pimps keep pushing, that backlash the Muzzies are always on about may just come to fruition.

Being here in rural Kansas, America’s heartland, has stirred up a lot of emotions for me.

Childhood crap: 1) My mother’s home in the backwoods of New Brunswick. I was never close with her family, and did my best as I grew to distance myself from them. They shamed me, for reasons I still can’t make clear. The women shamed me the most - they were low and common. They had terrible taste in spouses. They made me feel dirty, just for being related to them. Yet, still I was drawn to the place. I’m sure that if the situation were different, family-wise, I would have spent a lot more time there. Perhaps I would even make my home there. I was drawn to the serenity, and to a calling from the soil itself - much like I was with my long lost Cottage. This farm, this expanse of nothing and no one, for mile upon mile, is what I sought in those backwoods. 2) As most of you know, I thought was American till I was 5 years old. My father burst that bubble on the day of Reagan’s inauguration, when he explained that Canada was not only not a State - it was a whole separate country! I have felt robbed of a birthright ever since.

The Heather Years: And the family that wasn’t really mine. I was treated like one of their own, right up until… I wasn’t. Some things can’t be forgiven I suppose. Nor forgotten, in my case. Grudges get held on all sides, and they create walls that can never be broken. Walls that will live on in history, like the one in China. Just a part of the landscape, visible on Google Earth. I see a lot of similarities here at Argghhh!, and I wonder if perhaps it’s a chance to do it right this time. Or maybe it’s just another broken heart on the distant horizon. I hope not. I’ve lost far too much family as it is. I’ve been orphaned on more than one occasion, as impossible as that may seem.

Path of Thorns: Once upon a time, some words were said. Some sentiments exchanged. And some promises got broken. Many of those promises revolved around this very place, here in the heartland. A great place to raise a family that will never exist. And as I pass the little roadside churches and see the families at the market, it strikes me once more how faith in another human being will always lead to disappointment - faith exists for God alone. Two days ago I sat in a restaurant, forcing myself to swallow the food that had become stuck in my throat as I watched a man in uniform escort his wife and daughter out of the establishment. Her curls - it hurt to look at them. It was all I could do not to cry in front of Beth, who insists I’ve already cried enough. I know she’s right. Instead the goats saw me cry! They probably won’t tell… I hope.

This place is bittersweet, as most things are that one puts one’s heart into. Life is an imperfect adventure. I am trying to live every joyful moment and every heartbreak to the very fullest. When my time here ends - both in Kansas and on earth - I will leave behind some great stories and many clever anecdotes. People will know I have been here. And maybe, they will remember that I cried a little, too.

Serial SLAPP-suiter Warren Kinsella is thoroughly annoyed by the fact that the people he’s SLAPPing are getting financial support to fight him. Hmmmm… could he be worried that they might win?

Only two thirds of the way through my first coffee this morning, I was sent on an urgent door-to-door egg delivery mission. Oh well, I needed the walk. My muscles are sore and tight from yesterday, throwing and stacking nearly 100 bales of hay in the main barn near the house. The hay is done! Oh bliss!

I got up yesterday from a much needed afternoon siesta to find John in his John-sized chair, under a heap of kitties, playing with new guns that were delivered in the past few days. Usually, when a man comes home from work and sprawls in a chair with the cats, it’s to read the paper or maybe watch a little TV before dinner. Not John. Playing with the pistols is way cooler. So I sat and watched, getting the skinny on the differences and similarities between three pistols that to my untrained eye looked exactly the same. Methinks I will be well educated by the time I return to the People’s Republic of Torontistan.

Now, for all you blithering anti-gun types, let me put your tiny minds at ease. There are no children in this house. Just responsible adults. Guns are always locked away before people come to call, especially if they are bringing minors with them. Ok? Is that enough fine print for you?

Today is market day. Have I mentioned the fudge I discovered? This does not bode well for the 30-odd pounds I’ve lost in the past few months… There is a lady here in the area who makes goat milk fudge, which is softer and creamier than the regular stuff you are used to. For Kathy, Arnie, Meredith et al, I will be bringing some home with me at the end of August. For the rest of you, place your orders now! Anyway, I’m off to pick more blackberries (would those be African-American berries now? Or even Marion Barries?) for this afternoon’s market. We sold out last week!

I wonder… if an internet poster were to call someone a Nazi without any factual basis, or accuse them of being part of the Klan, or repeatedly use profane language to describe women he didn’t agree with… could this case be used as precedent?

Something to keep in mind, I suppose.

“An Islamic group plans to blitz 1,000 subway cars with advertisements this September in a campaign being promoted by a Brooklyn imam whom federal officials have linked to a plot to blow up city landmarks.” New York Post. Make no mistake about these advertisements — they serve one purpose and one purpose only: To convert people to Islam.

When I think of Muslims blitzing subway cars, I don’t think of advertising. I think of London.

The Geek Girl Edition!