It’s rather a pity that Fox already made a show about a bored city girl and her Chihuahua heading off to frolic uselessly on a farm while trying desperately not to break a nail. If Fox hadn’t already done this, I swear I would be pitching the idea to them. You see, on Tuesday I will be heading down to Kansas, to stay at Castle Arrgghhh! with Beth and John Donovan. And my little dog, too! Beth has been kind enough to offer me her spare room in exchange for indentured servitude - I will be her White Mexican at the farm. Maybe I’ll start a trend of white, English-speaking “Mexicans” who don’t steal the silverware - everyone will want one!

I imagine my main tasks will include getting dirty, dealing with all things related to poop, and picking ticks out of my dog. And possibly out of her dogs, too. For all I know it will turn into some sort of Marilyn “Simian Rights Now!” Churley fantasy with all of us picking ticks out of each other! So long as John is making his world-famous margaritas, I really won’t complain! I suppose the hardest part will be having to wake before I normally go to bed. Farm life is well beyond the comprehension of this city slicker. Hence the Paris comparison.

In all reality, it’s not indentured servitude. As you all know, June was an ass-kicker of a month for me, rendering me crippled with debt and personal loss. I have had to downsize my life considerably, though I have also made wonderful contacts and picked up plenty of writing work as a result. Thanks! There was originally a plan in place for me to spend the first week of August with Beth, but due to circumstances, I felt there was no harm - in fact there was much benefit to be had - in spending more time far from the filth and din of the city. I’m using this as an opportunity to escape, yet still get things accomplished. I have a stack of assignments to take with me, which means I’ll have a bit of an income while I’m there. My body looks forward to the opportunity of heavy farm work - it’s like the gym, but with added Vitamin D! So with the Donovans’ blessing, I am taking over the spare room for five weeks. Yup - five weeks!

On Tuesday morning I will pack up the freshly-immunized Bug and board a plane to Kansas City. Back in the old days, before air travel was the norm, I guess I would have had to click my heels and hope for the best.

Fear not, readers and listeners, for the hot pink laptop (which matches my boots) will be accompanying me, meaning Girl on the Right and Brass Balls Radio will continue live on location in Kansas. You’ll get to hear all about my exploits in rural farming, and with any luck, Beth will take a video or two to prove my ineptitude, which will be posted for your delight and delectation. I see disaster involving goats… and my poor little Bug being beat up by chickens. Then of course, there is John’s significant gun collection. Well, it’s more of an arsenal, actually! I’m looking forward to more lessons from him. He’s a great teacher, and will tell you the whole history of the gun, where it was used, and who he bought it from. Stay tuned!

This entry was posted on Friday, July 11th, 2008 at 10:33 pm and is filed under Guns and Ammo, Kansas, Personal, Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.