Older, no wiser
Good morning world. I’ve been with you for 32 years, as of today. The parents that welcomed me into the world, along with other loving friends and family, are all gone. The house is gone. My husband is gone.
I am reborn.
Here, on the farm in rural Kansas, I have to find a way to start life anew. To take those first tentative steps and learn to walk again. I have to remember to breathe.
It isn’t easy. It’s downright scary. I want to crawl into bed next to my mother and hide. But I can do no such thing. There is no mother, and there is nowhere to hide.
Today is my birthday, a cause for celebration. Or so I’ve always thought. Yet I really don’t feel like celebrating today. I feel like crying. And even that activity must be rationed. No one can hear, no one can see. Shhh. Quietly now, wipe away that tear before someone notices.
And there’s no fucking coffee.
Happy birthday Wendy, and keep ‘em coming.
Comment by JC — October 3, 2008 @ 11:32 am
Happy Birthday my dear friend. I pray this this new year for you brings the direction and love you need.
Comment by Stacy — October 3, 2008 @ 11:52 am
Happy Birthday.
You are always a good read, even if I dont always agree…
Comment by Iceman — October 3, 2008 @ 12:03 pm
Happy Birthday, keep your chin up.
I am sure everything will work out for the best.
I just hit your tip jar. Enjoy.
Comment by Gregg Barr — October 3, 2008 @ 12:22 pm
Happy Birthday Wendy. One thing I know for sure you have that should make you happy - You’ll never be as old as me. Oh, to be 32 again… or even 42!
Comment by Big Al — October 3, 2008 @ 12:49 pm
Happy Birthday.
You have to make your own Damn coffee till January. Then Obama will have coffee sent to everyones home every morning and get some rich guy to pay for it. Then we will all be happy.
Comment by MissouriRodger — October 3, 2008 @ 12:54 pm
Happy Birthday Wendy
Little wonder I like you so much. Something about October 3. Two of my best friends are celebrating theirs today as well.
If I could send you a real email hug instead of an emoticon I would.
Keep slugging, the coffee will be brewed in a sec…
Comment by Joseph Williams — October 3, 2008 @ 1:45 pm
If “no one can hear” and “no one can see”, you really don’t need to “wipe away that tear before someone notices”. In any case, you’ve decided to display yourself on the world wide web (again), so you’re clearly not worried that someone will notice. In fact, you’re ensuring that a whole lot of people notice. Well, I’ve said it before: you’re an exhibitionist. In any case, I hope things get better for you and that you reach maturity at some point. And I’m delighted to learn that you’re in Kansas.
Comment by Ellen Smith — October 3, 2008 @ 2:50 pm
It’s your birthday! And you’re in Kansas! Girl, put on that blue checkered dress, go out and get laid. There’s a rainbow out there with your name on it.
Comment by INP — October 3, 2008 @ 3:03 pm
I started over at 30 years of age, and now at the vast age of 53 I look back and think that it was the greatest thing that I ever did. But there were days and months and sometimes years that I wondered why I did it. Happy birthday, enjoy your life and believe that it will turn out and it will.
Comment by Maureen — October 3, 2008 @ 3:26 pm
If the Girl is an exhibitionist, Ellen wouldn’t that make you a voyeur?
Comment by Ms. Aloha — October 3, 2008 @ 5:38 pm
Happy birthday. I think I’ve actually liked reading things here more since you started writing about the farm.
I don’t know if we’re ever really reborn. Certainly we dust ourselves off and start over from time to time. You seem to be making some decisions about what’s important to you in life. Focusing on what’s good in life can’t hurt.
Oh, and as for maturity, I tried that once. It’s really not all it’s cracked up to be.
Comment by tasteslikechicken — October 3, 2008 @ 7:50 pm
Happy Birthday Sweetness.
That tinkle in the tip jar says have a few Margaritas on me.
xoxo
Comment by Wonder Woman — October 3, 2008 @ 9:28 pm
Happy Birthday,Wendy!
and may many more happier ones be your in your future.
Comment by Gino — October 4, 2008 @ 1:29 pm
Happy belated birthday, Wendy!
Since I always get epic fail with embeding photo’s in comments: http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y164/wteach/pirates/bd1402.gif
Comment by William Teach — October 4, 2008 @ 2:03 pm
Happy (belated) Sweet Sixteen (x 2), Wendy!!
PJ
Comment by ProphetJoe — October 6, 2008 @ 7:55 am
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! I hope your day was fantastic!
I completely understand your bad mood as there was no coffee…that’s just inhumane!
I wish you total happiness for this coming year. You are such an inspiration.
Comment by The Girl in Blue — October 6, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
Wow. I’m sorry to hear of the losses in your life. But I’m happy to congratulate you on reaching your doubly-sweet sixteen. May your future birthdays ever improve.
Comment by Phileosophos — October 10, 2008 @ 2:38 pm
I visited Kansas once. I loved it. I live in the mountains and all that horizon messed with my head. Moms gone, dads gone, brothers gone, two wives gone…but I love living what life I have. This too shall pass Wendy. This too shall pass. happy birthday
Comment by john — October 11, 2008 @ 5:56 pm