She’s been away
Miss me? Yeah, me too.
Here we are on New Year’s eve, with me having barely touched Girl on the Right for three months (many thanks to Art Lindsey for picking up the slack). Thing is, I haven’t been able to focus much on news and politics for the past little while. I’ve been busy just trying to survive.
This past quarter has been about life lessons for me. I left my right wing existence and was flung face-first into lefty-land. I went down the rabbit hole and through the looking glass. And I learned some things along the way.
I learned, first and foremost, what my tax dollars have been paying for all these years. I’ve learned about what is essential (safe beds for abused women), and what is a revolting waste of money for political purposes (for example, paying women $10 each to go hold a candle for the victims of Polytechnique on December 6th is a huge WASTE of tax money, and a total mercenary practice).
I learned who my friends are - and who they aren’t. People I trusted to stand next to me left me to flail in my own shit, whereas people I would never have asked for help in the first place came through and gave me a second chance. I learned that someone I thought was weak and unwilling to stand by me in tough times was actually tracking me down from 10,000 miles away. He was my rock, day and night, until I stopped crying and started breathing again - that took about a month.
I learned that no matter what happens to me, I still have the capacity for laughter. Everything is funny if looked at from the right angle.
I learned that just because someone is a crackhead doesn’t mean they can’t be a friend or offer a shoulder. Or a bed.
I learned that the woman sharing her dinner with me had killed a child. The woman sitting on the other side of me was an axe murderer. Both were very pleasant people.
I learned humility while shitting in a room full of other women.
I learned that I’m not as bad off as many.
I learned that spite can give you the will to live.
I learned a woman’s place. Do not fight against deprivation of food. Do not fight against unlawful confinement. Do not fight against months of harrowing emotional abuse. The moment you fight back you will learn what real deprivation is. Just take the punch and say thank you.
I’ve learned that Sunnybrook hospital is useless in dealing with an overdose. Just sayin’.
I’ve learned that no matter where you are, no matter what you’ve done, God’s forgiveness can help you sleep at night. He’ll sit by you even when no one else will.
I’ve learned that social workers and outreach workers have, for the large part, been where I am. Not all of them - some are the weeping lefty bleeding hearts I’ve made fun of for the past six years. But some of them know exactly what it means to be afraid.
There are lessons I still have to learn in the coming year. How to stand on my own again is one of them. Another is how to reconcile being RightGirl with being this beaten down wretch. How to reconcile wearing pearls and $300 Italian shoes and carrying a $500 Coach bag while walking into and out of my safehouse every day. How to be middle class and homeless at the same time.
The main lesson, of course, is how to score a book deal out of the whole ordeal.
Happy New Year, everyone. I’ll be back as soon as I can.
Stay safe, get things back in order. Many of us will still be around waiting for you to get back on the writer’s bicycle-based life.
Comment by Stephen Michael Kellat — December 31, 2009 @ 3:23 pm
Wendy, I don’t know what happened to you–arguably, it’s none of my (or anybody else’s) business until you’re ready to tell us. As with most of your followers, I pray that God gives you the strength to get through your difficulties. I hope 2010 is better to you.
Comment by Gene Barnash — December 31, 2009 @ 3:25 pm
May the Peace of our Lord, Jesus Christ be with you every step of your current journey.
If you are ever in Upstate, SC and in need of a place to stay or a hot meal, contact us at the email address I posted,
Comment by The Stickman — December 31, 2009 @ 3:37 pm
What a story. What a brilliant, honest, human story. Thank you for sharing it and blessing me (and others, certainly) by it. I have not experienced all, but enough of what you’ve detailed here to feel a kinship.
Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading your book one day!
Comment by Bee — December 31, 2009 @ 3:40 pm
Good luck, and Happy New Year.
Comment by horace — December 31, 2009 @ 3:45 pm
Just deleted a long heart-felt message by mistake, so I’ll just say you’re in my thoughts and prayers. If I can do anything for you, you know where to find me.
Comment by Chris Leach — December 31, 2009 @ 3:51 pm
Stay safe and take care of yourself first.
No one has a right to make someone else feel afraid.
Your fans - I’m a new one - will wait.
Comment by Barry Campbell — December 31, 2009 @ 4:04 pm
One tends to learn things and find friends in the strangest places and under the strangest circumstances. A very wise man once said that; me. Just now.
You’re a good girl and you’re going to just fine.
Comment by skippystalin — December 31, 2009 @ 4:08 pm
RG you just hang tough. Like you said, you learn who your friends are and who cares about what happens when things are in the crapper. I have gobs of faith that you will be back, stronger and smarter than ever, with a new perspective and a new vision of what is right.
Sometimes things have to break - or be broken - before they can be fixed properly.
And even though I am only 2200 miles away and have “other committments”, I will always let you know when I am in the grid square for lunch/dinner/a ride, or whatever I can do to help you.
Pax Vobiscum,
KP
PS either email addy works for me right now.
Comment by KP — December 31, 2009 @ 5:38 pm
Glad you are back. If ever in Nashville, TN area drop a note.
Comment by Tim Gilley — December 31, 2009 @ 6:41 pm
RG, I saw you on Michael Coren and have been reading your since. Glad to read that you are leaning on God. He won’t fail you and he will bring people into your life to help you.
God bless you
Otsile
Comment by Otsile — December 31, 2009 @ 6:50 pm
I’m here for anything and to offer anything that I can.
Comment by paul mitchell — December 31, 2009 @ 6:58 pm
Now you have me worried about you sweetie. I know what it’s like to experience some of the things you mention here, so I can only pray that you’ve not had to deal with anything too awful. Awful sucks. Homeless sucks. Counting on people who let you down and betray you sucks.
You are strong - stronger than you realize probably, and I will be praying for you, that you come out of this with a clearer purpose, and a stronger faith.
Is there anything I can do to help?
Comment by DarcsFalcon (Vanessa) — December 31, 2009 @ 7:01 pm
The content of your post is completely out of my wheelhouse. I am at a loss as to a response except to say best of luck and I will remember you in my prayers.
Comment by Bob Devine — December 31, 2009 @ 7:53 pm
My prayers join everyone else’s, and I’d love to read a book of yours! I’m glad you’re able to laugh; that heals better than anything. My ex darn near killed me; things WILL get better…and your life will be the sweeter for having pulled through.
Comment by MissTammy — December 31, 2009 @ 8:23 pm
A good old fashioned bra shot could work wonders now.
I had being wondering about you.
Gotcha, all the best my dear.
Comment by alexb — December 31, 2009 @ 8:29 pm
I’ve missed you.
I know they seem just words, but they are sincere, whatever I can do just ask.
Comment by Big Al — January 1, 2010 @ 12:55 am
Wendy,
You need a place to chill out - come to my place. In the sunny Okanagon of BC. I live on a farm, plenty of horses, cats and dogs. Some bipeds,but who cares. We share the same philosophy. that’s all I’m gonna say in public. Love your blog, you point of view, etc.
Get in touch if you wanna learn more.
Comment by Cathy Martinoff — January 1, 2010 @ 3:54 am
God bless you, RG. You are in my prayers.
Comment by Katherine — January 1, 2010 @ 10:59 am
When we’re in the midst of a terrible time we sometimes think that we’re finding out who we really are - that’s not true. Empathy will make you stronger, wiser, but your soul and its capacity to grow and laugh and love is who Right Girl is. It’s not about liberal or conservative, it’s about making sense of this fucked up world and making it a better place before we leave.
Since you’re not leaving any time soon, you’re gonna have plenty of time to sort things out and blossom anew - same wonderful flower, glorious new colors!
Don’t sit around too long - now more than ever it’s time to get busy…
Comment by Shane from PV — January 1, 2010 @ 1:16 pm
Good luck Wendy.
Comment by Brian Gardiner — January 1, 2010 @ 5:16 pm
I’ve been saying a prayer for you as often as I think about you since we exchanged words last. I will continue to do so. I offer anything I have, which you might need, prayer being the first and foremost of those. Take care of you and don’t give up on what you know is true or right.
Blessings!
Comment by classicaliberal — January 2, 2010 @ 4:48 am
Well, glad to see you haven’t succumbed to the ontario health care system.
We can swap stories.
Comment by fenris — January 2, 2010 @ 9:53 am
Wendy, I can only add my best wishes and prayers to those of others. Looking forward to the comeback. Will you autograph your book for me?
Comment by Andy — January 2, 2010 @ 10:51 am
A New Year is here! An opportunity to make a fresh start, and begin a new journey! Good luck with your demons, and hopefully you will be back in action………..sooner, than later!
“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” - Albert Einstein
Comment by richard — January 2, 2010 @ 11:15 am
Your strength is not being tested, but being used it will be renewed.
Condolences for your pains,
Prayers for your gains.
Comment by epador — January 2, 2010 @ 3:57 pm
Thanks for sharing what you were able to, can’t wait to hear more, I’m beyond intrigued! I’m so glad you felt the Lord’s presence with you through this journey.
Comment by Tracy — January 2, 2010 @ 4:45 pm
Hey Wendy!
Along with other commentors, I find your post kind of obtuse, but I think I get your message. Reveal what you want when you want. I often disagree with you, but I enjoy your feisty stance, especially on the TV. And then other times, I agree with you. Keep getting well, Wendy. You have to know that friends and others are hoping along with you. Maybe even hopping along with you. Share what you can … I hope that in 2010, everything you wish for comes true.
Andy
Comment by Andrew The Lesser — January 2, 2010 @ 10:52 pm
Been wonderin’, ya know! Glad to know you are alright. Even though it may not be the best of circumstances. Hang in there and don’t let the Bastards wear you down.
Comment by Glenn Cassel AMH1(AW) USN Retired — January 3, 2010 @ 1:52 pm
I don’t understand what you’ve been through RG and it sounds horrendous. But never forget your readers respect and admire you and stand willing to help in any way. All the best in 2010.
Comment by Curmudgeon — January 3, 2010 @ 3:19 pm
So sorry to hear about the ordeal you’ve been through and I know you’ll be back on your feet again in no time cause’ you got spunk! You’ve been in mine thoughts and prayer’s along with your other fan’s and friends. Thanks for posting and keep your chin up girl!
Comment by daveinguelph — January 3, 2010 @ 8:00 pm
Thank God you’re alright dear, I’ve missed you and wish you the best. Kinda been the same route meself, have faith that you will endure these bad times and come out stronger and more determined. Your tenacity, cynicism and biting wit has served as a balm for many of us in these disturbingly disconnected times. Take care and stay safe.
Comment by will — January 4, 2010 @ 10:40 am
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Pingback by Make Fast Money Writing | Girl On The Write Freelance — January 4, 2010 @ 4:41 pm
I am truly sorry to learn this year has been so challenging…
……”There are lessons I still have to learn in the coming year.”…”How to stand on my own again is one of them.”………
You are much stronger than you think …As the “right” girl you have truth, faith and undaunted hopes that will bring you to the place you deserve to be.
Recently I learned a little from the Torah story “Lech-Lecha” which speaks about those who inspire were required to leave their place of comfort in order to see the great future that lay before them…
Most sincerely,
Every good wish 2010 and beyond…
rochelle
Comment by Rochelle Michaels — January 6, 2010 @ 2:18 pm
I’m glad to hear you’re back. I don’t care to know what happened, unless you’re ready to tell the world, which I don’t expect. Everyone deserves a private life. It seems you’ve gotten something positive out of your negative experience, and I look forward to hearing and reading a refreshed Wendy, with a new view on some things.
Comment by Ben — January 12, 2010 @ 8:30 pm