Ah, the National Health Service. Putting patient care first, every time.

Except this one:

A nurse gave a bed-ridden patient a mop and bucket and told him to clean up his own urine, a hearing was told today.

The 73-year-old man told the Nursing and Midwifery Council he was ‘taken aback and shocked’ at Isabel Michaels’ request.

He said he at first he thought she was ‘having a laugh’ but when he saw the look on her face he realised she was serious.

The old dude, after surgery, asks for a bedpan. He buzzes and buzzes for a nurse. No one comes, and he pisses himself. That’s humiliating enough. But to be handed a mop and bucket to clean his own shame; that’s just public health care.

Much like me being at the Lakeshore General in Montreal on a frosty first of November by the open ambulance bay. I begged for a blanket, but was routinely ignored. Eventually, realizing the poor shmuck on the cot next to mine was dead, I got up and stole his blanket. Let’s face it - he wasn’t going to get any warmer.

ObamaCare isn’t socialized - yet. It’s instead a sop to the insurance companies. Regardless, levels of patient care will decrease, costs will be cut in care and cleaning, and people will be left to clean their own piss (or have their families do it, as I indicated here).

I had my annual physical yesterday. Naturally my doctor scowled when she weighed me, knowing that I was outside the healthy limit. My BMI is dangerously high. Regardless, I was smiling. Down a pound and a half since Saturday’s weigh in!

For those of you stopping by for the first time, or who haven’t been following the story, I am on the Diet Solution Program as part of a challenge to get healthy and lose weight. The advertising at right is part of the agreement - they advertise, I do the diet, I blog about it.

I am now down about 5 lbs since I started, and 4″ off my waist - that part has me tickled pink.

Last week was tough because I was between paychecks, so I was living off about 600 calories a day, all from starch. Not good for my body, I know. But I’m back on track now, and feeling good.

Muslim woman strangled by her burkha in freak go-kart accident

Pictures would have been nice, but we take what we can get.

The 24-year-old woman, who has not yet been named, died a terrifying death today when a fluttering part of her burkha became caught in the wheels of a go-kart she was driving near the town of  Port Stephens, north of Sydney.

The Muslim clothing the woman was wearing flew back as she sped around the track and part of it became entangled in the go-kart’s wheels.

Random diet update. As I mentioned in today’s podcast, I’m eating more carbs that I should due to a lack of grocery money. C’est la vie.

But I just measured my waist before my shower, and overall I’ve lost 3.75″ since I began the diet. When I factor in feeling bloaty today, it may even be 4″.

So far I am very pleased with the results of the Diet Solution Program. I know a few of my readers have checked it out - let me know what you think so far, either in the comments or via email.

I know, that headline must have left you reeling. You’re shocked, right? Yeah, me too.

General Motors Co. says it lost $4.3 billion in the last half of 2009 as it struggled to emerge from bankruptcy protection, repay government loans and cope with a severe downturn in U.S. sales.

Repay? The government OWNS them. Repay? My ass.

The federal government has given GM $52 billion in aid and has owned 61 percent of GM since its emergence from bankruptcy.

Out of $52 Billion, they’re only going to pay back $6 Billion. Tough deal, huh? How’dya like to negotiate that for your mortgage?

In other news…

Ford gained U.S. market share in 2009 amid the worst U.S. industry sales market in 27 years and expects its share of the U.S. market to stay flat or increase in 2010.

New In Bed With RightGirl podcast is up!

Further to this.

This:

In this remote mountain region, a colony of Germans has sprung up — expats who have severed all roots and found a new homeland in the Hindu Kush. Germany’s Federal Office of Criminal Investigation (BKA) maintains a list of suspects who have taken off to Afghanistan or Pakistan — or at least tried to leave — over the past few years. The list has nearly 100 names. It’s a directory of the third generation of Islamist terrorists after the 9/11 suicide pilots and Germany’s so-called “Sauerland Cell”. Like their predecessors, they are eager to fight the holy war and die a martyr’s death. Intelligence agencies are now wondering who among this generation will become the next Mohammed Atta or the next Fritz Gelowicz, the ring leader of the Sauerland Cell — or who will emulate former Bosch employee Cüneyt Ciftci, who hailed from the quiet southern German town of Ansbach and carried out a suicide bombing in Afghanistan in March 2008, blowing himself to pieces and killing four people.

Germans are known for producing two great things: cars, and efficient killers.

Ok, it’s mean, and it’s a little sad, but it could also make for a hilarious Hollywood script.

To avoid Constance McMillen bringing a female date to her prom, the teen was sent to a “fake prom” while the rest of her class partied at a secret location at an event organized by parents.

McMillen tells The Advocate that a parent-organized prom happened behind her back — she and her date were sent to a Friday night event at a country club in Fulton, Miss., that attracted only five other students. Her school principal and teachers served as chaperones, but clearly there wasn’t much to keep an eye on.

“They had two proms and I was only invited to one of them,” McMillen says. “The one that I went to had seven people there, and everyone went to the other one I wasn’t invited to.”

Last week McMillen asked one of the students organizing the prom for details about the event, and was directed to the country club. “It hurts my feelings,” McMillen says.

Two students with learning difficulties were among the seven people at the country club event, McMillen recalls. “They had the time of their lives,” McMillen says. “That’s the one good thing that come out of this, [these kids] didn’t have to worry about people making fun of them [at their prom].”

Seriously, if this were happening in a movie, you’d be laughing your ass off. The lesbian and the two retarded kids are sent to a fake prom, while all the beautiful people are partying somewhere across town. Cue the pigs’ blood, and it could be a horror flick: Lesbian Hacks Classmates to Death!!!

Comments at the Advocate are something akin to what you’d find on any lefty site, with epithets like “cunt” and the like being tossed around (not, of course, directed at the gay darling in the center of this storm - that would be uncouth). In fact, I defy you to find a better example of the mentality of the left than in that comment section. Lots of hate, considering these people are supposed to be the wilting wallflowers of history.

However you swing, and however you feel about the story of Constance McMillan, you can’t deny that this is a movie waiting to be made.

Spring has sprung, Easter is behind us, and it’s time to start planning the family vacation. Sure the economy is still in the shitter, but that doesn’t mean you have to put off this sacred rite of passage. Cheap vacations are there for the taking.

For example, when I was a kid, we used to go up to The Cottage every summer until I turned seven. Then when we went broke and had to sell it (thereby leading directly to the neurotic screw-up you know and love today), we’d pack up the car and drive 12 hours from Montreal to my mother’s sister’s house in Northern New Brunswick.

Unlike family vacations characterized by popular culture, these were placid car trips with few bathroom breaks and one long picnic lunch to break up the monotony. Then again, I’m an only child, so there was no squabbling or jostling for space in Dad’s old 1974 Ford LTD woody station wagon. Or “the hearse”, as Mom called it. I would be buckled into one corner of the car, with my various books, coloring books, crayons, pillows, blankets and snacks spread around me. It was nice. Every family should have such vacations.

Of course, for the more hands-on, adventurous families, road trips out to the sticks just won’t suffice.

German intelligence is warning of a new breed of terrorist - whole family groups travelling to training camps on the Afghan-Pakistan border where they learn how to use explosives and raise funds.

Parents travelling with children have in the past raised less suspicion than single men or women travelling to and from Germany.

I understand that heading to the Grand Canyon from Germany can be a bit pricey for families, but Europe is lovely, especially in the summer months. Why on earth would you want to head to Waziristan instead of taking in the Louvre or the Tower of London?

Wait. What the fuck am I thinking? I don’t want these people anywhere near the treasures of Europe.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, Van Halen and Mark Steyn are singing Hot For Jihad, with backup vocals by the Mark Steyn Singers. Save me.

Which is something I hardly ever do.

When the health care law passed, I offered up some tips and tricks for surviving ObamaCare. In the final installment, I address the dreaded Death Panels of Doom, over at Eric Morris.

Go. Read. Comment.

Down 2.75 pounds on the first week of the Diet Solution Program.

Frankly, I’m a little frustrated that it isn’t more. I mean, it’s usually the first couple of weeks of a plan that the weight really comes off. But, I reminded myself that the antidepressants I take are NOT helpful to the weight loss process.  I’m lucky to be dropping as much as I am. In the past, when I’ve worked out with a trainer, it would take me weeks just to drop half a pound because of the stupid pills. However, I remind myself daily that the pills keep me from murdering YOU.

So I’m thankful for the 1.75″ off my waist.

The Moscow subway attacks were all the way back on Monday. I’m shocked it took till Wednesday before the Muslims started crying that they were the real victims in all this.

Oumar, resident of Moscow: “My wife is veiled, she wears the hijab and today I won’t let her go outside, because when she does go out in our neighbourhood, people give her strange looks, as though she is suspicious.”

At the mosque these men believe their appearance puts them under the spotlight of suspicion.

Appearance? Oh, you mean the C-4 strapped to your chest! Yeah, you’re probably right about that.

I think Reuters, like many other news agencies in recent years, have replaced their staff with unpaid interns or something. Example:

U.S. Army backtracks on gay discharges, no moratorium

For two days now I’ve been reading about “gay discharges”, with the most revolting images of drippiness going through my head. Let’s think… they could have used firings, dismissals, or pretty much anything else. I really don’t want to be envisioning gonorrhea when I’m reading Reuters.

How about this one:

Black farmers eye next move in bias lawsuit

I know I’m not the only one who wondered how the poor farmer got the black eye.

Beauty can be hard to find in Canada’s ugliest city. There’s so much concrete here, and so few trees. Of course, this means that when you find a strip of nature, you appreciate it a little more.

Happy Easter, and happy spring!

My blue jeans are the only pair I own with no lycra in them. Other pairs all have 2% or even 5% lycra. My blue jeans are hardcore, oldschool and unforgiving. I haven’t been able to wear them in the past month. This morning I slipped them on and did them up without having to lay on the bed.

RightGirl is mightily pleased!

And no, this isn’t an April Fool’s joke, unless the cosmos is playing it on me.

Now in all seriousness, I know that what I’ve lost this week is predominantly water weight and excess bloat. Which is all well and good, but it isn’t fat loss. Here’s the thing though - I’m not giving you insight into my bathroom adventures, because that’s fucking gross. So let me be vague: Have you heard about the diet pill Alli? You know what it does? Ok, that’s happening to me, but without any pills or supplements. Fat is coming off. A lot of it, actually. It’s pretty exciting. Well, about as exciting as anything involving a trip to the bathroom can be.

I’m stoked.

This post is part of an ongoing series about my adventures with The Diet Solution Plan. I will post every couple of days about how I feel, how I look, and how much weight - if any - is coming off.