Proving once again that there is no humor in the Religion of the Damned, a Muslim man made a joke to his wife over Skype, and the local head-retards pronounced them divorced:

A MUSLIM man, who jokingly told his wife “talak, talak, talak” (I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce thee) in an online Skype messenger conversation, has been told the separation stands.

The ruling was made in an online fatwa by the Darul Uloom Deobandi seminary in northern India, which is regarded as one of Islam’s leading authorities on religious law, after the man, from Qatar sought clarification.

“Jokingly typed ‘talak, talak, talak’ (I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce thee) to my wife on Skype chat. I don’t understand Islam very much and did not know about how talaq works,” the Telegraph quoted him as having written.

“We love each other very much and want to be together but right now we are caught in this thing. Want to know a way out,” he wrote.

But his hopes of a way out were dashed when the seminary issued a fatwa confirming his wife must first remarry another man, consummate the marriage, and then divorce him before she could be allowed to remarry her first husband.

Want to know a way out? Try joining the rest of us civilized people in a Judeo/Christian/Secular world.

Rocking this look on the bus this morning was a blast. Especially since Halloween is a very North American concept. Sure, it originated in Europe, but it’s our thing over here. Toronto, being a very multi-cultural city, really loses out on Halloween. The newcomers don’t practice it, and their little kids - who would enjoy it most - don’t learn about it until they’re in regular school. If schools even teach anything beyond love thy muslim anymore.

I went costume shopping last night, and everyone in the shops was either black (born here), white (born here) or Japanese (any excuse to dress up!). You don’t see a lot of post-Communists or Muslims or even first-gen Jamaicans participating in the custom, and it’s very sad. With all the fun that goes into choosing a costume, dressing up and going out - trick or treating for the wee ones and partying for the big kids - it seems a shame that Halloween is as fringe-y  nowadays as Candlemas, and certainly not as popular as Ramadan.

If you say the name “Richard Warman” in the mirror 3 times on Halloween night, he sneaks up and takes your words away!

Warman is suing me for $500,000.00 Dollars. A ridiculous amount for an equally ridiculous lawsuit. Nonetheless even nuisance suits such as this must be defended against. To date legal fees have run me about 10K. I’ve covered that from my own pocket. I am now asking for your help. I know times are hard for many of us but if every reader who visited daily were to contribute 5 or 10 dollars then that would go a long way to helping all of us out.

I can’t say enough about the kindness of Blazing Cat Fur when everyone else needs it. Now it’s time to help him. Please do what you can. Re-link and retweet. Thanks.

Six weeks ago I got a cold. I’m still coughing colorful balls of DNA, so I decided to see a doctor yesterday. She put me on Zithromax, and I’ve been shitting ever since. Ugh! I had to stay home and close to the potty today, lest something horrible happen on public transit.

Yeah, my life is that glamorous!

Another random sister from my mom’s family came out of the woodwork yesterday. That always throws me. But when I was little, she was my favorite. I was obsessed with her! I alternately wanted to marry/emulate/be her when I was between 3-7. But when our nuclear unit moved to the ‘burbs, we kinda lost touch. In order to stay close, she gave me a bottle of her perfume. I rarely wore it, but I used to sniff it all the time. I totally mooned over her. She was the youngest of my grandmother’s brood, the most beautiful, and she sang country music on weekends. She slept late, stayed up all night, always had perfect hair and nails, used to give me her hand-me-down stiletto heels (I was 8), and always had Halls cherry cough drops in her purse. My issues with my mother’s family are many and varied, and the scars run deep. But this woman was always kind of outside the realm of their madness. She wasn’t involved in the whispering and petty rivalries that come from having SIXTEEN sisters. So while I didn’t see her much, at least she remained untarnished. Instead of being repelled by her popping up in my life, I’m actually interested in knowing what she’s been up to for the last 20 years.

Britain welcomes their new Islamic overlords, who still wear diapers.

Mohammed is now the most popular name for newborn boys in England and Wales ahead of Jack and Harry, it emerged today.

The name, when 12 different spellings were included, was given to 7,549 youngsters in 2009, official statistics revealed.

I usually agree with Ann Althouse, but she truly made me ill today when she wrote that the Kentucky head-stomping incident just proved that it was a slow news week:

… but that just highlights the lack of anything serious in the political news this week.

Really? So because “we” on the Tea Party side of things did something unacceptable, it’s only being reported because there’s nothing else going on? No, I disagree. It’s a deplorable act.

In other news, Toronto elitists continue to weep in their champers over the massive electoral victory of Rob Ford. Sorry socialists! We tried it your way and it was a disaster. Time for something new. See also: Bush out of office, Obama sweeps to victory.

Not religiously motivated, but horrific nonetheless.

A three-year-old girl was repeatedly stabbed by her mother who then doused her body in acid, a court has heard.

Alia Jama’s mother Iman Omar Yousef, 25, from Birmingham, has been declared unfit to stand trial.

Here’s the thing: We stopped locking schizophrenics up about 30 years ago, when it was decided that their human rights trumped the safety of the greater community. And we already know that child workers are overworked and undertrained. These two problems come together in unspeakable ways.

Today’s the day Toronto decides if they want to elect a drug-addled, gay ex party boy or a fat, violent rich thug as mayor for the next four years.

With these stellar choices, how can Toronto help but exemplify the “diversity” it so vociferously touts? I mean, really: A queer and a cracker, squaring off against each other. All this story needs is Kevin Bacon dancing in the church basement!

Personally? I’m voting for the thug. Why? well, in 2006, San Francisco voted Toronto to be the gayest city in the world. I really don’t think there’s much more Smitherman can offer us, other than blowjobs all around. Let’s try the cracker instead - that would show real diversity!

Vote Ford!

Army driver who killed activist says he didn’t know he ran over her

Let’s sell the Wahabbis weapons! I mean, it isn’t like they’re high strung, evil, and hate us or anything, right?

The US is hoping to contain Iran by building up the defences of Saudi Arabia and the neighbouring Gulf states.

In the past, Congress proved difficult over arms sales to Saudi Arabia, reflecting Israeli objections but also because of Osama bin Laden’s links to the country. But, focused on the midterm elections, concerned about saving US jobs, and also regarding Iran as a major threat, it is unlikely to create problems.

Ooo, I like how this article mentions the influence of ze Jooooooz. But really, how can America sell her soul for a few jobs? This has to be blocked. Write your congressional rep. American lawmakers are all scared right now about the upcoming election, which is in just 13 days. Make it clear that selling weapons to our mortal enemy is a deal breaker for you.

There are now 30 Native band chiefs in Canada making more money than the average premier.

Our reservation system is like a Third World dictatorship, right down to the filthy, starving citizenry, but as usual, it’s not the fault of the generous First World donors. Billions of dollars are shoveled into Native reservations, housing, welfare and social programs, but none of it (Nunavut?) reaches the people. See also: Zimbabwe, Pakistan, North Korea et al.

There has to come a point somewhere along the way when we say ENOUGH! Time to let the people revolt against their leaders in order to fix the problem, because the top-down solution has failed.

First they came for the fox hunting, and I did not speak up, for I do not hunt foxes. Then the foxes came for US!

A trail of destruction was left at London Zoo after urban foxes crept in and killed almost a dozen penguins.

Keepers at the north west London site discovered the bloodbath when they arrived to open up for the day.

During the killing spree the foxes targeted South African and rockhopper penguins.

Council officials carried out an inspection of the site last year and faulty fencing was blamed for the break in.

The report which was obtained by The Independent under the Freedom Of Information act also revealed fox traps had been removed from the site.

As Kate McMillan is always saying “Tony Blair’s Britain, where the foxes caper unmolested…”

The benefits of exercise go beyond a trim waistline or the ability to lift heavy objects. I recently went back to the gym after a 2+ year absence because my cardio levels were way down and I was getting breathless too easily. Sure, I’ll tone up and drop some inches, but most importantly, I’ll feel better and have more energy.

In the past few years, doctors and scientists have been touting the benefits of exercise as a way of preventing breast cancer.

Engaging in regular physical activity, maintaining a healthy weight and drinking alcohol in moderation, if at all, was shown in a large study to help protect against breast cancer in postmenopausal women, the researchers said.

“Whether or not you have a family history, the risk of breast cancer was lower for women engaged in these three sets of behavior compared to women who were not,” said study leader Dr. Robert Gramling, associate professor of family medicine at the University of Rochester Medical Center in New York.

So get your kicks on and take a brisk stroll, hit the gym, or do a BodyPump DVD. Your breasts are counting on you!

Speaking of breasts, I’m heading out to the sticks this afternoon to dine with my favorite pair of non-authentic boobies - those of the lovely and luscious WonderWoman.

Hilarity will no doubt ensue. Especially since I’m bringing Bug, who lost his virginity to her ankle at a Christmas party I threw in 2005. Good times…

Thanks to all my readers who have been making purchases through my Amazon links. You are helping support this blog!

The world needs more heroes. Remember how excited we got when Sully Sullenburger landed a plane on the Hudson? We just pulled 33 miners out of a hole in the ground in Chile, and the world cheered. No, they’re not heroes (the guys who pulled them out are heroes) but they are being touted as such.

And of course, the first responders who ran into a burning, collapsing skyscraper in Lower Manhattan while everyone else was running out? Heroes.

Now the Islamic world, which doesn’t contribute much to global society beyond suicide bombers and honor rapes, has decided they need superhero characters to engage the minds of young Muslims.

The program chronicles the adventures of 99 superheroes, each of whom embodies an attribute of Allah.

Jabbar is a Muslim Incredible Hulk. Mumita is wicked fast. But Wonder Woman-style cleavage has been banned from the ladies. And, in this faith-based cartoon, hair-hiding head scarves are mandatory for five characters, not including burqa babe Batina the Hidden.

In another break from standard world-saving fare, male and female characters are never alone together. (Imagine the stoning super-strong characters would dish out.) “The 99″ even has the seal of approval of a Sharia board — which polices Muslim law — affiliated with an Islamic bank from which the show received financing.

Well, that’s just great. How to embody Allah while subjugating even revered females.

Since the characters need to be able to capture young imaginations and shape tomorrow’s Muslims…

May I suggest… AttaBoy?

He hides out in his secret strip club lair until he is needed to fly his flaming jet into infidels. Except in the imaginary world of superheroes, AttaBoy can perform his heat-defying tricks again and again without perishing. Kinda like the 72 virgins thing in the imaginary world of Muslims…

I live in Canada, as you all know. That means my mammograms are “free” as part of my sage burning/course of leeches health care system. But in the US, even under the wonder that is ObamaCare, not every woman can afford to get a mammogram. In some cases her HMO deems her too young to be eligible, or perhaps she has no insurance at all.

By visiting the Breast Cancer Site and clicking the big pink button, you can donate a mammogram to a woman in need. It doesn’t cost you a thing, and you might save a life!

I’m thankful that I have gorgeous tits. Others have been thankful for them too, and I know my gentleman friend is. I mean really, they’re stunning.

Unfortunately, not every woman is so lucky. Even if she’s born with the genetics to produce magnificent knockers, cancer might intervene to take her terrific ta-tas away. That in itself is a damn tragedy, but it’s an even bigger one if she’s a harried mom trying to raise small children, run a household, maybe work, and generally be everything to everyone. It’s not in the female nature to step back and say “No, I can’t do for you. I need to take care of me.”

When cancer strikes a young mother, the entire family suffers. Thankfully, in cities like Toronto, Ottawa, Vancouver and Calgary, there is the Nanny Angel Network.

The Nanny Angel Network is a group of women comprised of professional care providers and board members who generously volunteer their time to provide quality, compassionate relief childcare, at no cost, to mothers diagnosed with breast cancer, in treatment or in the early stages of recovery.

All Angels are pre-screened, professional, experienced child care providers who volunteer their time providing mothers with the security that their children are being well looked after while they get some much needed rest, go to appointments or simply have time for themselves.

Is the Nanny Angel Network something you would be interested in volunteering your time for, or making a financial contribution to? Find out more here.

My feet are revolting. Seriously. I go through sneakers fast, not from wearing them out, but because they quickly begin to give off the odor of rotting flesh. Lovely, huh?

These are my latest replacements.

New Balance Run for the Cure sneakers, which I picked up at The Running Room at North York Centre.

New Balance has a long-standing deep partnership with Susan G Komen for the Cure. Read more about it here.

Oh and also? Boobs!

Lots of you have been making purchases through my Amazon links, which supports not only breast cancer research, but me as well! Regular reader Pauly was man enough to be comfortable buying a pink cordless drill for the cause. He sends this photo.

Thanks to Jamie, who sends this link: Hats for chemo patients, by a cancer survivor!

My mother went to the drawing board determined to create something that would work for me.  She designed several hats and then adjusted and refined the designs until they covered all the right places and felt securely in place. It was important to me that I could wear a hat without fear of it falling off or slipping out of place.   Comfort was my main concern ~ but Mom wanted me to feel pretty so she added  in the style and elegance.

When so many other women experiencing hair loss began asking where they  could find  headwear like mine, we decided there was a need for us to share Mom’s designs with others.  Doma Designs has been a family effort started out of love and a passion to help others.

If you or someone close to you is dealing with the ravages of chemotherapy, why not bring a bit of dignity and beauty to their lives with one of these hats?

If you enter the code rightgirl, 20% of the sale will go directly to breast cancer research.

While I think the NHS is being arbitrary with where they draw the line, I frankly don’t think anyone should have “free” IVF treatment.

Women who drink fewer than two glasses of wine a day are being denied free IVF as NHS trusts impose strict rules on who gets fertility treatment.

Even those who barely drink at all could be turned down if their partners are deemed to be exceeding recommended alcohol limits.

Health trusts insist they are simply following Department of Health guidelines which warn against excessive drinking, particularly in pregnancy, but experts have accused them of discriminating solely to save money.

Having a baby of your own is not life-saving treatment. It certainly doesn’t save the life of an unwanted child awaiting adoption somewhere. Some argue that things like gastric bypass shouldn’t be on the health service dime either, because obesity is a self-inflicted problem. Fair enough, but gastric banding does in fact up the fat guy’s chances for a longer life. Having a baby? Not so much.

No, I’m not a parent, so I don’t “get it”. But it seems to me that if a couple is willing to go the IVF route - which is a massive hardship and puts excessive strain on a relationship - then that financial burden should be part of their decision. Joe and Jill Taxpayer are already paying for their own children - they shouldn’t be paying for you to have yours. We’re not all meant to have babies.

Or a boob, depending on who you ask.

Anyway, he’s into the spirit of Boob Month with me, so go over to his blog and check things out.

My Birthday Suit.

I’m posting my lovely rack because I want you to buy shit from my Amazon links that will send proceeds toward curing breast cancer. It’s a win-win-win: YOu get shit, I get money, titties get saved. Can you think of a more perfect plan?

Amazon has these items you might be interested in (though any item you buy after clicking through these links gives me a few pennies. Pennies make me happy).

Breast Cancer Awareness Pink Ribbons Cupcake Pics 12 Pack

Opi Pink Of Hearts Nail Lacquer - Breast Cancer Awareness I have this. I love it.

Little Pink Drill 18V- 10% Donated to Breast Cancer Research! For the do-it-yourself chick! I totally want one.