That’s exactly what Gary Faulkner of Colorado set out to do. He headed alone to Pakistan, armed with a Bible and sword, determined to behead that most foul of bogeymen: Osama bin Laden.

An American man accused of trying to sneak into Afghanistan to hunt down and kill al Qaeda head Osama bin Laden has been detained by authorities in Pakistan, police said on Tuesday.

Gary Faulkner was caught in the Brumboret Valley near the border of Afghanistan’s Nuristan province carrying a dagger, pistol and night vision goggles and was being questioned in Peshawar, Chitral police chief Jaffer Khan said.

This story resonates with me. I have on more than one occasion indulged in the fantasy of climbing the mountains of Tora Bora in search of the Devil. I have dreamed of the training I would need beforehand, in order to survive the terrain. I considered the hell I may have to endure if captured, and how I might extract myself. In the end though, I cut off his dick, head and right hand - in that order. His dick so that he may have no virgins in Paradise. His head to present to America. And his hand for my own safekeeping - I have always been fascinated by his strikingly long fingers. i feel that his hands are his most easily identifiable characteristic.

The part of this story I don’t understand is why he was arrested and detained. Carrying a sword in Pakistan is like carrying a cell phone in Toronto. There’s nothing unusual about it. And killing bin Laden - that should be everyone’s top priority, regardless of who they are. The Pakistan government claims to be on our side, yet has been as useless as our Western governments in locating and killing that beast. Instead, they have the hills marked as “secured”. Why is that? Who are they protecting - aimless wanderers like Faulkner, or more sinister elements?

Walking through the woods on my way to kill bin Laden should be no more trifling than wandering through the Kansas plains during deer hunting season.

So I went to the movies last night, and saw this preview. From the guy who made Supersize Me.

One of al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden’s sons has married a middle aged parish councillor from Cheshire after a holiday romance, it has been reported.

The new “Mrs Bin Laden“, whose father-in-law is the most wanted man in the world, is Jane Felix-Browne, a 51-year-old grandmother.

She met 27-year-old Omar Ossama bin Laden on a sunshine break in Egypt in September, according to the Times.

Her new husband is currently working as a scrap metal dealer in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, while she applies for a visa so he can visit Britain, the paper said.

Mrs Felix-Browne told the Times she had “married the son, not the father” and hoped people would not judge her harshly.

Oh my. What does one send to that nuptial? C4? An infidel on a silver platter? Curtains for the cave?