Pfizer: Keeping your, er, “spirits” up
May 15th, 2009
This economy is hard. People are getting laid off every day. But pharmaceutical giant Pfizer wants to help raise your spirits. Ahem.
Pfizer will provide more than 70 prescription drugs, from Lipitor to Viagra, at no cost to unemployed, uninsured Americans.
People who lost jobs since Jan. 1 and have been on Pfizer drugs for three months or more are eligible.
That will be wonderful news for people who have fallen on hard times, and will provide a real boost to their marketing at Pfizer at the same time.
All jokes aside (really, I promise), one could argue that there’s a great economic incentive to do this. President Obama has already spent over a trillion bucks, and America will collapse in a generation if we don’t start shoring up the coffers once more. Immigration is one way to get more taxpayers, but the problem of illegal Mexican workers almost negates the good being done by legal immigration.
America is one of the only Western countries (I think it’s the only one, but I’d have to double check with Mark Steyn or someone who actually knows about demography) with a sustainable birthrate - and it’s right on the line. If it falls further, we will go the way of Europe, which will not exist as we know it in 50 years. So let’s make sure people are having lots of sex, and we can (maybe) get another generation of dutiful taxpayers to pay for the Obama spending spree.
Oh, I know the downside. If people are struggling economically, and the government is funneling millions into organizations like Planned Parenthood, it will be all too easy for all this Pfizer Pfucking to lead to naught. But the potential remains, and that’s kinda cool. Too bad Pfizer doesn’t make diapers - now that would be encouraging to get for free!
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