Obsessed with left hand versus right, and having detailed instructions on how, why, where and in which direction they can shit, a British Muslim has been spreading his scatological joy all over the food you and your children may consume.

42 year old, Sahnoun Daifallah, appeared in front of a magistrate on charges he squirted a “foul-smelling” substance, later determined to be a mixture of feces and urine, over frozen chips and wine bottles at a Tesco in Gloucester - he then went on to shower and ruin 706 children’s books at Waterstones in Cirencester, Gloucs. Not quite satisified with showering his human liquid waste concoction over just two stores, Mr Daifallah proceeded to the Air Balloon pub where, after making offensive comments to the barmaid, he proceeded to sprinkle more feces and urine all over the pub food.

Cheers. Enjoy your meal.

Thanks to Blazing Cat Fur, who brought the story of the WWII Gurkha to my attention.

Tul Bahadur Pun, of Nepal, fought for King and Country and was awarded the Victoria Cross for his services in the war. He took tea with the Queen Mother and attended the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II. However, in his last days he is being advised that his ties to the UK are not strong enough to be granted a visa.

Pun, 84, who won our highest bravery medal in the Second World War, wants to spend his last days among old comrades and having treatment for several health problems.

At his ramshackle home in Nepal, he said last night: “I feel bitterly disappointed at the way successive British governments have treated me.

“I have served the UK with the utmost loyalty and to be treated this way is appalling.” Tul was handed his VC by Lord Mountbatten in 1944 for single-handedly charging a Japanese position in Burma under heavy fire.

For shame.

The husband of a pregnant teenager found stabbed to death has been arrested on suspicion of her murder.

The 24-year-old husband of Sana Ali, 17, was arrested by murder squad detectives along with 16-year-old youth.

Mrs Ali and her unborn child both died following the attack at her home in Bury, Greater Manchester, on Friday.

Sana came to the UK five years ago as an arranged bride. She was married six months ago, and had to drop out of her college classes because she became pregnant.

This is not a life. She was a prisoner of her culture, forced to marry and breed when she was no more than a child. She was a prisoner of her marriage: neighbors said they didn’t even know there was a young woman living in the house. And now she’s dead, her and her baby, stabbed to death in her own “home”.

Neighbours said they were shocked by the murder. “They are a quiet family, we rarely saw them,” one resident said. “They are Muslim and sometimes they wear traditional dress, but other times they wear Westernised clothing.

“They recently had a large garage converted into a prayer room, and every couple of weeks quite a number of people came to pray. But I never saw a young girl at the house.

“A policeman told me he had interviewed 29 residents in the street and not one had seen a teenage girl or knew one that had recently got married.”

She was invisible - her life meant nothing to the people around her, including the one (or ones) who killed her.

Try to spare Sana a thought tonight. Better late than never.