I should already be dead. At least according to this eco-freak carbon calculator. At 31.2 years of age, I should have died in order to benefit my planet.

Now, I know I’m no real friend to the environment, but I also don’t own a car. I live in a small apartment. My energy bills are low. But because I don’t recycle, I should be dead. Isn’t that a bit extreme? By this weird little quiz, not recycling is a crime punishable by death.

Enviro-freaks will tell you that they want to save our planet for our children. For their future. But in reality, they are nihilists where the human race is concerned.

H/t Tim Blair.

Cities along the coast have dimmed their lights for Earth Hour.

So, is the planet saved yet?

UPDATE 8:20: As I look to the apartment building across from me, I see that there are a few stubborn lit windows. One neighbor is sitting in his window, typing on his computer… I caught his eye a moment ago. Heh.

UPDATE 8:50: I just took a walk outside. NO ONE has their lights off. So much for Mother Gaia.

Forbes list of the 10 most polluted places in the world. Bottom line: We’re not on the list.

Climate and environment guilt is like white guilt. We’re wealthy and bored and we stopped going to church, so we need a reason to punish ourselves now that we don’t have the Rosary. So let’s freak out over someone else’s sins, and change all our lightbulbs. Yeah… that’ll save the world.

Sigh. Oh well, it could have been worse. It could have been Ahmedinejad.

Paul Rempel brilliantly shows us how the average person can do like Al Gore and David Suzuki to help the environment:

We ate at a Mexican food restaurant in Kitsilano last night and today I am suffering from the physical symptoms of that. Luckily, I have solved the problem by purchasing several methane emission credits from my neighbors, who hate Mexican food. After haggling over the price of the credits, we appointed an independent arbiter who decided on a fair price per mega-tonne of methane emitted. Just another day as an environmental crusader.

Godspeed, man. You’re a modern day saint.

…”What would you do if you won the lottery?”

My answer? “Buy a great big gas-guzzling Hummer and drive it up and down in front of David Suzuki’s house all day long.”

The woman sitting next to us on the subway looked over, laughed, and said “I couldn’t agree more!”