Remember last year when some pro-life dude stomped up the steps of Dr. George Tiller’s church in Kansas one Sunday morning and pumped the notorious late-term abortionist full of lead? The left blamed Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly especially. Apparently their invective was directly responsible for sending this dude over the edge and making him go on a mission from God to end the reign of the Baby Killer.

Well, it’s a year later.

Yesterday a gunman went to the Discovery Channel (of all places) and killed four people. He raved about “parasitic infants” and other environmental bugaboos. He was the ultimate greeny, complaining that we mere mortals are destroying the planet and must be stopped.

So by the logic of the left in last year’s shooting of Dr. Tiller, this one is Al Gore’s fault. Right? Anyone?

Sometimes I think the people who are trying to do God’s job of sorting out which species should  live (marsh mouse) and which should die (Jews and pit bulls) must be drunk. I mean, who are we mere mortals to make these decisions? Who are we to change the weather? As the Dodo once wisely sang

I never ever ever do a thing about the weather cause the weather never ever does a thing for me!

Turns out, drinking does play a large part in it, thereby proving me right once again.

About 15 years ago, a bunch of Chardonnay-slurping enviro-snobs decided we should stop using natural cork in our bottles of plonk, and switch to either synthetic plugs or screw caps. For the ecology, you see.

Bless their wee interfering hearts, their plan worked. Winemakers stopped using natural cork, and we all lived happily ever after.

Well, maybe not exactly. As the demand for cork dropped off, cork farmers stopped planting it. Now that the cork forests are dying out, animals who once made their homes in them are dying out too.

Now cork suppliers and environmentalists are fighting back claiming the move is threatening the two million hectares of forest across Portugal, Spain, North Africa and Italy which are sustained through industry management.

The area includes the Montada forest which is considered one of the ‘biodiversity hot spots’ of the world where some of the world’s most endangered animals live including the Iberian lynx.

In just 0.1 hectare of forest there can be more than 100 certified species.

Rui Simoes, a representative of Rainforest Alliance, said “It is not just about cork it is about a rich community of plants and animals that all rely on one another.”

Of course, now that the Iberian lynx is in danger, keep your eye out for wine-laden dinner parties on the Upper West Side where the hosts are trying to raise money to help bring back the lynx. Somehow they’ll manage to fuck that up, too.

Gulf, can I talk to you, woman to woman?

I know you’ve tried to be safe. I know you’ve done your best to keep it clean. When your slick friend got rough with you, you told him to put a condom on. And then this morning the condom slipped. Honey, it happens. I implore you not to panic.

Right now, you need to quickly take a special pill. And then, might I suggest a diaphragm and maybe foam?

Or better yet - if you don’t feel you are ready for these risks, just say no next time. Use this as a learning experience. I’ve been where you are - nasty British boys making a mess of my delicate ecosystem and exploiting my lubrication. Kick those Limeys to the curb, sweetheart.

Via Moonbattery comes this from the National Post

In a close race with the United Nations for the most ridiculous decision of the month, Toronto’s city council will consider a proposal making it illegal to warm up the car, or keep the motor running while you pick up the kids.

Ever-prepared to impose its agenda on the lives of residents, council will consider a recommendation by the Board of Health reducing the current limit on idling from three minutes to one.  And since even the three-minute law is rarely enforced (Hint to authorities: because it’s stupid), the board recommends giving parking control officers the authority to write tickets. Fine: $125.

The stated reason for this intrusion is that idling cars emit large amounts of greenhouse gas into the atmosphere. Plus, the behaviour-control forces that make up the dominant left-wing bloc hate cars and want to force people to ride bicycles, which they view as preferable for ideological reasons. Dr. David McKeown, the city’s Medical Officer of Health,  came dangerously close to giving the game away when he explained: “While we’re trying to shift people out of cars, into bikes and other forms of transportation, the one thing that should be easy to do is not use our cars when we don’t need to.”

Right. So the goal is to make driving as miserable as possible, thereby making the options — ie the TTC –appear less unattractive. And city authorities — not you — will decide when you need a warm car and when you don’t.

I expect a human rights challenge from the taxi companies. For example, smoking in the workplace isn’t permitted, ergo cabbies can’t smoke in their cars, because it’s their workplace. So, the reverse should also apply: No one can force a worker to work in unsafe or unhealthy conditions. This is Canada - if a cabbie can’t run his car, he’ll freeze his hairy Arab balls off. And while I’m not against the torture of Arabs per se, they do have a strong case for making their workplaces livable.

Things like this happen in sweatshops in developing countries all the time. Over heated or freezing factories, no bathroom breaks, and you buy your one cup of water from the company store at 300% of its value. But this is Canada. If we forced a cabbie’s wife to work in a factory like that, there would be much hue and cry about the conditions. But because he works in his eeeeeevil vehicular conveyance, fuck him.

Oh, and if you read down far enough, you hit the punchline: The law won’t apply to city workers in city vehicles.

We absolutely must get cars off the road and planes out of the air because of the carbon emissions they create, which are warming the planet.

Oh wait…

Temperatures in Europe could rise as a result of planes being grounded across the continent, according to research.

A study conducted after commercial flights were grounded for three days following the September 11 terror attacks found the average daily temperature range in the U.S. rose markedly - exceeding the three-day periods before and after by 1.8c.

Scientists claimed this showed that clouds formed by the water vapour in the exhaust from jet planes have a small but significant effect on daily temperatures.

Let’s face it: They have no idea what they’re talking about, can’t keep their stories straight from day to day, and are just plain making shit up as they go along. Kinda like Democrats, actually.