Got this from a friend of mine stationed in Af’stan. Have a laugh - or a cringe!

1. You run in terror from a controlled detonation your first week, then
stand in the open to watch real mortars landing, a month later.

2. The most intimate contact you’ve had in months is with the shower
curtain.

3. Your most successful pick-up line is “I’ve got a vehicle”.

4. All the Air Force people look like glow-in-the-dark Power Rangers and
you can’t see the Army Folks.

5. Your 6:00 am wake-up call is “BOOM” Alarm Red, Alarm Red, Alarm Red”.

6. They actually give weapons to the Air Force personnel.

7. You give directions using T-Wall & Bunker murals.

8. You realize AAFES is their own country, and can print their own
money.

9. The amount of sand in your boots is only surpassed by the amount in
your nose.

10. Something as simple as taking a shower or going to the bathroom at
2:00 in the morning requires preparation equal to the Apollo moon
landing.

11. The Texas Style Brisket is not from Texas, is not brisket, and has
no style.

12. You are watching a “chick-flick” with 300 guys with machine guns.

13. Your internet connection is twice as slow as your old dial-up
connection back home, and you’re paying twice as much.

14. Your lying under your bed in your IBA writing to your spouse, “No,
nothing exciting happened today” and you mean it.

15. You can buy a car or truck from the on post AAFES, but paper towels
are nowhere to be found.

16. You live in a gated community, but your home is still a trailer.

17. You are caught way over the speed limit and you are only going 22
MPH.

18. During Alarm Red someone jumps out of the bunker to tell you to get
your hands out of your pockets.

19. Your idea of a night on the town is going to another DFAC.

20. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, but you still
wouldn’t want to be on that side of the fence.

21. Dusting the furniture has a whole new meaning.

22. “Pimp my Ride” means putting doors on your Hummer.

23. U2 is hitting the charts again.

24. The local community holds fireworks displays every night in your
honor.

25. Driving over the curb seems totally natural.

26. The outcome of the war hinges on how you wear your reflective belt.

27. You see a guy in full battle rattle driving a Humvee trying not to
spill his latte’.

28. It feels normal to dry your hands at the DFAC with toilet paper.

29. Your idea of a clear day is when you can see the perimeter of the
base from where you’re at.

30. The dust on the dashboard of your vehicle is an inch think, but you
don’t even notice it.

31. You don’t even notice T-walls anymore.

32. Cold water from the shower is only possible after 1 Oct.

33. Getting your laundry back from the contractor is a big deal.

34. A 105-degree day in the summer actually feels cool.

35. You don’t even notice an F-16 taking off anymore.

36. You don’t stop what you’re doing anymore, when you hear automatic
gun fire coming from the perimeter.

37. You used to think that F-16’s, doing afterburner take-offs, were
cool. Now it just pisses you off.

38. Without even looking outside, you know that the weather sucks,
because you weren’t woke up all night from the roar of the F-16’s.

Much has been made of the report that Obama has offered to give Israel a ‘nuclear shield’ as a defence against likely Iranian nuclear attacks. I was asked to give my opinion in email to this issue and thought I would post the report and my answer here. I would very much welcome in comments any of your thoughts to this issue. How you guys feel about Iran’s ambitions and what the best courses of action might be.

First the report and comments from the MSM then my response then hopefully some of yours…

U.S.-ISRAEL COLLISION
Published on TheHill.com on December 16, 2008

With the election of Barack Obama, the United States has moved dramatically to the left in its foreign policy at just the time that Israel, which seems likely to return Bibi Netanyahu to office in early February, is moving to the right. A collision is almost inevitable.

Caroline Glick, the highly astute conservative columnist for the Jerusalem Post, writes that the “international community” believes that Obama “will move quickly to place massive pressure on the next Israeli government to withdraw from Judea, Samaria, Jerusalem and the Golan Heights in the interests of advancing a ‘peace process’ with the Palestinians and the Syrians.” She notes that “people who have been in close contact with Obama’s foreign policy transition team have privately acknowledged that the widespread belief that Obama will move swiftly to put the screws on Israel is fully justified. According to one source who has spent a great deal of time with the transition team since last month’s U.S. elections, Obama’s people are ’scope-locked’ on Israel.”

Meanwhile, in Israel, there is a growing consensus, reflected in public opinion surveys, that trading land for peace is a chimera. Netanyahu points out that “we do not have a viable partner with whom to negotiate peace.” The Palestinian Authority does not speak for the people of either Gaza or the West Bank, and Hamas, which probably does (it won the election), does not want to be a party to any peace agreement. Recent experience suggests that Hamas will quickly install rocket launchers on any territory Israel concedes, using it not as a basis for peace, but as a platform from which to kill more Jews.

Former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and the candidates of the left, Labor’s Ehud Barak and Kadima’s Tzipi Livni, are deeply committed to land for peace. Their rejection by the Israeli electorate — the anticipated outcome of the Feb. 10 election — will signal a bold departure in the political consensus of the Jewish state, a consensus that flies directly in the face of Obama’s likely policy.

The difference between the U.S. and Israel also extends to the realm of how strongly they oppose Iranian development of nuclear weapons. While Iran moves closer and closer to a bomb that could and will be used against Israel, Obama speaks of extending the American “nuclear umbrella” to cover Israel.

Reading between the lines, this means that he doesn’t think he can stop Iranian nuclear ambitions and will retreat to a policy of deterrence, accepting a nuclear Iran in the bargain.

If Netanyahu wins the election, he will bring with him a determination to stop Iranian nuclear weapons, no matter what, and a refusal to concede more territory in the name of the peace process. But Obama’s foreign policy team will be focusing on pushing Israel in just the opposite direction.

The result is likely to be the most significant divergence between Israeli and American policies since 1956, when President Eisenhower sided with the Arabs to halt the British-French-Israeli invasion of Suez.

The United States has tremendous leverage over Israel — military, financial and political. And Obama’s ability to carry the Jewish vote by a wide margin despite his likely Middle East policy makes him largely immune to the kind of political pressure that has disciplined American presidents in the past and forced them to incline toward accommodating Israeli views on the Middle East.

But Israel probably has the military capacity to bomb Iran and to win the Middle East war against Syria, Hamas, Iran and Hezbollah that is likely to result. Unlike Olmert, Netanyahu will use ground troops right off the bat and will fight such a war to win and to win big. But they may have to do it without their strongest ally: the United States.

Although I didn’t deal with every aspect of this article, itself a kind of ‘chimera’ I did focus on the issue of Iran the US and Israel….

some of this is good but like most stuff I read on the matter it seems under informed.
I so far at least do not see Obama’s admin as fundamentally different than Bush’s.

There are strong rumors of Obama offering to set up a ‘nuclear umbrella’ for Israel but in fact there is already a US base operating an ABM site and has been for some time albeit a ’secret’ one so Obama’s offer is nothing at all new.

What’s worth looking at is the idea that the US strategy is one of defense of Israel to Iranian nuclear missiles as opposed to preventing Iran from developing these weapons. It would appear that Iran will develop the capability for a nuclear device if they have not already done so and may in the coming years be able to develop an actual deliverable weapon.

Let’s put ourselves in the position of Iran for a moment…

We have a massive economic crisis. For the first time we are issuing debt bonds, something we are normally opposed to as an instrument. We use Islam as the tie that binds for a large number of disparate groups within Iran. The negative focus is the USA and Israel to try and keep our people united despite massive poverty and growing oppression at home. Our budget is based on a minimum USD $60.00 per barrel oil price and Iran’s crappy oil cannot get over $30.00 $PB at the moment and probably less, so Iran is sliding into more and more debt.

should we decide to go ahead with expensive nuclear weapons programs the thing to do would be distract the world with new missile tests and purchases from Russia and then build a shitty primitive nuclear device aboard a large ship and detonate it off the coast of Israel while everyone is busy with super high tech missile defense systems.

this is what I would do if I was Iran.
I tend to agree that any attempt to eradicate Iran’s program is probably not practical. It would mean a rapid end to the Obama admin for one thing. He would have to use all his political capitol up as it would be a near impossible sell at home if indeed it was even possible logistically. There is no point in destroying the facilities. You have to kill the people with the know how. This means you would have to have a surprise attack in order to be effective as the equipment is cheap and easily replaced and wouldn’t set the program back much at all. Chances are they have a lot of U235 available and ready now. The scarce resource is the technicians who have the know how to actually do anything with it.

Iran has been somewhat masterful at deception and stalling. Its a safe bet most of what we know is a dodge. The chinese bomb design is likely not what they are making. a simple U235 bomb needing a minimal of know how is probably what they are going for and it would be easy to construct this aboard a ship. something the size of Hiroshima bomb, maybe 15 or 20 kilotons would do to destroy Tel Aviv or more likely if they could, launch it high enough to create an EMP which would effectively set Israel back to pre 1900s technology and make it easy pickings for ground forces.

In any of these cases I find the analysis I see of Obama’s offer of a Nuclear shield to be lacking in decent information. It isn’t new and it doesn’t tell us anything we need to know.

If there is an attack on Iran’s facilities planned, as I said it would have to be a surprise. So the more we hear about one the less likely it is to happen.

More meaningfully the bickering over ABM systems for central Europe are indicators that the US is planning to defend against Iranian missiles as opposed to ending Iran’s capability to acquire them.

This seems to me a more telling example of US policy. That they are ready to incur Russia’s wrath for a system most definitely intended to defend against Iranian threats to Europe.

Many of you may remember me showing my boobies off earlier in the year to help raise money for the USO. This was for Ltc. Kevin Upson, a friend of mine, raising funds and running the Marine Marathon.

I got this pic and an email yesterday saying he completed in 4 hours and 8 minutes. He raised $575, mostly from readers of this here little blog.

Congrats to Ltc. Upson, and thanks to all of you who donated to the USO. Good job, everyone!

A high school east of Cleveland is saying “no” to two teens who want to wear their military uniforms on stage at their high school graduation.

Will McDonnell, an active duty marine, and Tony Workman, an Army National Guardsman, are graduating from Chardon High School in Geauga County.

McDonnell took extra classes and met his graduation requirements last fall so he could attend a 13-week Marine Boot Camp in February. Workman went through the Army’s 10-week basic training last summer.

McDonnell tells Newsradio WTAM 1100 he was stunned when his dad told him the news. He says he and Workman had previously been told they would
be allowed to wear their uniforms.

McDonnell says Principal Doug Delong did listen to their concerns, but says he doesn’t want to open the door for similar requests from members of other organizations. The two will be allowed to lead in the Honor Guard in their uniforms.

But Delong says if they don’t wear the robe and cap for the ceremony, they can’t walk on stage with the other students on Saturday. McDonnell tells our Bill Wills they will wear their uniforms, but will simply stand at their seats when their names are called.

The graduation is set for tomorrow, the 31st. Here’s who you can contact:

Principal Delong can be emailed at ch_delong@lgca.org

(440)285-4052

Fax: (440)285-7229

Update: Mike forwards this email.

From: Doug Delong
Date: May 30, 2008 1:09:03 PM EDT
To: ‘Mike Williams - BBR’
Subject: RE: Uniforms

Just so you know, both boys are permitted to wear their uniforms at the
beginning of the ceremony. They will be carrying the colors and marching
with members of the VFW, standing at the front of the stage for the National
Anthem and the Pledge. Then I will be publicly recognizing them for their
accomplishment. After that, I asked them to sit with their classmates, put
on their cap and gown for the remainder of the ceremony. This was discussed
with the one family that made the request three weeks ago.

Thanks

Mr. DeLong

—–Original Message—–
From: Mike Williams - BBR [mailto:mike@brassballsradio.com]
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2008 9:20 AM
To: ch_delong@lgca.org
Subject: Uniforms

Let the students wear their uniforms. They are willing to give their
lives for your freedom.

It’s the least you can do.

You know what I’m talking about.

For all of you who have been so kind as to make a USO donation (and get a pic of my boobs, of course), I wanted you to see the kind of things that money buys.

General Petraeus cut the ribbon on a brand new USO office right in Iraq - where it can do the most good. From the press release:

The new center is located just north of Baghdad, in an area that our soldiers have dubbed “Mortaritaville” because of its history of frequent mortar and rocket attacks. The 2,300 square-foot facility offers our men and women in uniform a comfortable lounge where they can forget about the war for a few precious moments and enjoy entertainment from home, such as video games, DVDs, movies and more.

There’s also a Cyber Café with free Internet and email access, plus telephone service with prepaid phone cards, so our troops can call home for free to hear the delightful sound of their child’s voice or to have a comforting chat with a friend or loved one. There is also a library where they can lose themselves in a book, and supporting it all—a kitchen stocked with goodies… because everyone wants a snack with a movie.

The USO is one of those organizations that I would love to volunteer with, except for my geographical birth defect of having been born to the wrong country. If you haven’t donated yet, here’s the link. And thanks.

(click for larger - something’s wrong with my photo uploads these days)

That’s right folks - another $100 donation for the USO. How cool is that??

If you want to donate, here’s the link.

And we all know what that means…

C’mon, people…. how is it that I’ve only had to post two titty shots? What’s going on? Have my readers all turned gay?

Today is LTC Upson’s birthday. He just turned 42. That’s right - a 42 year old man is going to run a full marathon to raise money, and you can’t bring yourselves to make a few clicks on your mouse.

Show him a little birthday love (and I will show warm booby love in return) and click this link to raise money for the USO.

This time, Donovan himself ponied up. After all, it was his idea!

The link for donations is here. Every $100 donation is another booby shot.

And as I’m true to my word, here you go:

I got an email from my former “Angel-ed” one, LTC Kevin Upson, currently of PACOM. This October he will fly to Arlington to run in the Marine Marathon, to raise money for the USO.

During his time in Iraq the USO was a very big part of his life, and the lives of his men (after all, the USO is responsible for the Dallas cheerleaders spending more time in Baghdad than they do in Dallas!). So it’s time for him to give a little something back by raising funds.

Please click the link and drop a few bucks for a good cause. The USO hopes to raise $100k from the Marine Marathon. Can you help?

UPDATE: The ever-helpful John Donovan suggests I offer to show my tits to raise funds. So here’s the deal: For every $100 raised, I will post a saucy pic. For every $200 raised by the lefties who call me an ugly cunt all the time, I will remove the saucy pic. Sound fair? And on and on it will go…

I’ve often said (and heard) that there’s nothing more violent than a peace activist.

Police are poring over Times Square surveillance footage in an effort to determine who threw an explosive device at the military recruitment center there early this morning.

In a second briefing today, Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said officials have few additional leads, but that the investigation is focused on a man who was spotted riding a bicycle in the area around the time of the blast.

No injuries were reported.

While the Joint Terrorism Task Force is participating in the investigation, Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman tells the Associated Press that, “We do get occasional vandals at our recruiting stations. It’s unfortunate but it happens from time to time.”

H/t: Guy sitting next to me, who brought it to my attention.

But spend some money, anyway.

It’s the middle of the year. No big holidays in sight, no special seasons that inspire our generosity. And yet this is the time of year when donations are so very needed to help support our military men and women. The wonderful donations given to Soldiers’ Angels at Christmas have long since been used, and yet the need is still great. I’m sure even the troops have noticed the trend - during Christmas and other big holidays they are swamped with carepackages and letters of support, which is great - really it is! Yet it has to make them wonder where that support is the rest of the year. Do we give because we are ’supposed to’ during the ’season of giving’?

It is always the right time to thank these men and women, and show our appreciation for their service.

I’m keeping this post at the top of the page till July 4th. Help us hit our 100K!

She has had the rare honour of serving her country at the same time as serving those who serve.

And Julie Brown, amongst many other brave civilians who have done a tour in Afghanistan, is a special kind of war veteran.

“It was life changing,” said Brown, who has been back from Kandahar just one week after six months of working in the famous Tim Hortons franchise at the Kandahar Airfield. “I was so proud to be able to do my part to help these fine men and women who sacrifice so much.”

The 34-year-old Cookstown mother of two sacrificed as well.

For six months she put herself in harm’s way to take the job at the Tim’s in a war zone.

I would love to do something like this. This heavy, broken body of mine would be virtually useless in the army, but I’d gladly serve up double-doubles for the men and women doing the hard work. I would consider it an honor.

Please see here for details. Thank you in advance for your generosity.

As part of my PACOM series (other posts here and here), I’d like to introduce you to Major Paul Young, of the Canadian Air Force. That’s right folks, there’s a Canuck on Oahu, and he isn’t just there to golf.

He stands apart from his American counterparts, with his darker green digitized uniform (apparently the basis for much teasing from his paler-green desk mates), soft-featured, friendly face and spectacles. Originally from the Maritimes, Major Young had been based in Winnipeg for the longest time before becoming part of the exchange program, moving his family to Oahu (there are worse postings to have to convince your wife of, I’m sure). There are currently 12 Canadians in various parts of the US Military machine (Canada offers just one spot for an American - currently vacant).

The exchange gives our Canadian soldiers an opportunity to work with bigger machines, better toys, and - in the case of Major Young, who works in Logistics - larger amounts of money and personnel. When I asked him, not totally understanding his role there, what he worked on, he said “American things. I work for the US Military. I don’t sit at that desk working on anything Canadian.” It’s actually a very strange working relationship, since he will sit in his little cubicle, next to the Americans; together they will discuss various problems and solutions throughout the day, yet he is restricted from accessing certain areas of the very computer programs and databases he’s meant to be working on. He is, after all, a foreign national.

Unfortunately I was only able to spend a few minutes with Major Young, but I could see he was happy with his role at PACOM. When I spoke with LTC Upson, who works with Major Young, he had only good things to say. Major Young is a well liked and respected colleague - one of their own.

The two pansies trying to seek refugee status in Canada from the eeeevil United States have been turned down for the final time.

Two U.S Army deserters have exhausted their appeals for Canadian refugee status and now face deportation.

In a ruling released yesterday, a three-judge panel of the Federal Court of Appeal upheld decisions by the Federal Court and the Immigration and Refugee Board that Jeremy Hinzman and Brandon Hughey are not entitled to refugee status.

My heart is NOT bleeding! The US Military is all-volunteer. They signed up knowing that it could mean more than just a free education. They signed up knowing that someday they may be called upon to pay the piper.

They argued they were conscientious objectors and had well-founded fears they would face persecution if returned to the U.S.

The board, Federal Court and its appellate division rejected those arguments.

The latest ruling noted neither made full use of steps open to them in the U.S. to win conscientious objector status, before fleeing here.

Shockingly - shockingly, I tell ya - they were all Muslim. Wow.

Six foreign-born Muslims were arrested and accused Tuesday of plotting to attack the army’s Fort Dix and massacre scores of U.S. soldiers, a plot investigators say was foiled when the men took a video of themselves firing assault weapons to a store to have the footage put onto a DVD.

Three of them were illegal aliens (Oops, sorry. I meant “undocumented workers”).

“It doesn’t matter to me whether I get locked up, arrested or get taken away,” Serdar Tatar was quoted as saying. “Or I die, it doesn’t matter. I’m doing it in the name of Allah.”

This is what we’re fighting: an enemy who wants to die for their devil-god. A false religion, a cult of sex and death, from a false desert prophet. A Religion of Pieces.

Will we ever learn?

Every year, thousands flock to Oahu to bask on Waikiki Beach, surf at Sunset Beach, or golf at Turtle Bay. When the tourists think of the military there, they think of Pearl Harbor as something in the past - a headline, a movie, a call to arms - not as a fully functioning military installation that still operates today (for example, when the USS Ronald Reagan was docked there just a few weeks ago).

Oahu is covered with military. It seemed to me that I was never more than 50 yards from the nearest serviceman. There is the obvious female reaction to all that camo, but there is something more: a sense of security. I knew that I could walk to my accommodation at any hour and not have to look over my shoulder. I knew that no matter how lost I got (yes, I can get lost on an island - I’m talented that way), there would be someone with patience and knowledge to get me out of the bind. This was evidenced one morning when I took a wrong turn and found myself heading for Hickam Air Force Base. I knew I wouldn’t be able to enter - you have to have military ID for that. But the sentries posted at the entrance are incredibly helpful and friendly. It must happen often enough, since they have a built in u-turn spot to make the exit easier!

One evening I was meeting a friend at his installation, and I arrived a few minutes early. Again, I knew I wouldn’t be able to gain entry to the parking lot. So I just idled the car on the side of the road and stepped out to stretch my legs. A moment later a colonel in a sporty little red car pulled up to see if I was having car trouble. I can’t remember the last time a civilian (not counting a truck driver) stopped to see if I needed assistance.

And while we’re on the subject of car trouble, I was lucky enough to meet my new favorite person in Hawaii: Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Upson. When the LTC was in Iraq (he was a Major then), I was assigned as a Soldiers’ Angel to the 82nd Airborne, which was his unit. I was to send all correspondence for the troops to him, and he would distribute at random. I would usually receive an email from him every month or so, and if I didn’t hear from him, I’d drop him a line to check in. He was the only one in the unit I had contact with - the rest was done anonymously. He’s been in Hawaii for a few months now, so of course I contacted him when I found out I was going over. And when I arrived at the gate of Camp Smith to check in with the PAO for PACOM, it was the LTC who greeted me. It was a great honor to meet him - one I will cherish always, though he said the honor was his. Having him meet me at the door was only the first surprise he had in store. After my various chats with the Public Affairs Coordinator (Maj. David Griesmer, USMC - more on that meeting later) and other staff, LTC Upson escorted me out and told me to go “suit up” for a formal occasion. Hmmmm… intriguing… How does this all lead to car trouble? I’m getting to that - bear with me! (Although I was also able to interview LTC Upson, I will post that at a later date. I’m trying to stay on topic here!)

He picked me up a couple of hours later to escort me to the kickoff of Military Appreciation Month - a rather swanky “do” on Ford Island at the new Pacific Aviation Museum. The event was hosted by a series of local and corporate sponsors, and attended by Admiral Keating, the man who runs the show at PACOM. This was the LTC’s way of saying thanks for all I had done, even though I felt I could never do enough.

Anyway, to the car trouble…. after wining and dining on the catering of some of the finest restaurants on Oahu, and listening to the USMC Jazz Trio (they were awesome!), it was time to call it a night. We walked back to the car, only to find a dead battery. LTC Upson was terribly embarrassed, all dressed in his A’s, with a dead car. A fine pair we made soliciting through the crowd to see if anyone had jumper cables! Sure enough, we found a table of young kids - Army - so young I wondered if they should have had those beers in their hands. One of them suggested popping the clutch on a rolling start. What a spectacle! Four or five of them, plus the LTC, pushing the car while another sat in the driver’s seat getting ready to start her (a success!). Me on the sidelines, holding somebody’s beer and laughing at the sight, especially when an equally young bunch of Marines walked by and stopped to stare. To me it was one of the high points of the evening, though LTC Upson will probably send me a tersely worded email just for writing about it!

Perhaps it’s because I’m Canadian and we tend not to be very outgoing and helpful. Maybe it’s an “American thing”. Or maybe it truly is that having that many overgrown Boy Scouts in one place means you are never alone, and never without help when you need it. For that reason alone - not the beaches or the palm trees or even the pink-hued sunsets - did I feel at home on Oahu. And it is for that reason I would someday return there.

[Padre] Varga told the mourners. “A war took Patrick; evil in the world took Patrick. God caught him when he fell and now God carries him safely into eternal life.”

Pentland died when the light-armoured vehicle he was driving hit a roadside bomb near Kandahar.

What a lovely way to eulogize someone.