Food allergies are a white middle class suburban construct. No poor kids are allergic to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - because they are instead allergic to starving to death.

My mother-in-law had my ex convinced he was allergic to dogs (including developing psychosomatic symptoms) because she didn’t want pets. My boyfriend’s niece is allergic to potatoes - another staple food of poor people. The kid is half-Irish, for fuck sake! How can she be allergic to potatoes of all things?

Well, it turns out she may not be, after all.

Only around one in five of people who think they have a food allergy actually do, the draft guidance from Nice said.

Studies have shown that where as up to 17 per cent of people think they are allergic to milk, when challenged with diary products, only three per cent were actually showed symptoms.

Seven per cent said they were allergic to eggs but the real figure was less than two per cent.

More than a third said they were allergic to some form of food but when tested this turned out to be just one in ten.

Nice say that children diagnosed with allergies will then end up being deprived of certain foods - such as dairy products, nuts or wheat - which could lead to dietary problems.

In the end, parents take their own issues with food (Did you grow up bored of PB&J? Your kid must be allergic! Read the Atkins Diet? Your kid is allergic to potatoes!) and spring them on their kids for no good reason, thereby limiting what their children eat. It’s like some kind of food-based Munchhausen By Proxy.

Of course, like previous posts about the Nutzis, this one will draw all kinds of apoplectic comments from people who swear that peanuts are eeeeevil and will kill us all, like some kind of Zombie Jimmy Carter on crack. The funny thing is, my mind’s eye can see these parents swelling up like toads, turning red, foaming and wheezing in their elitist righteousness. In reality, it looks like they’ve choked on an nut.

“When the Senate takes up a jobs bill later this month or early in February, the debate will center on whether it really will create jobs and be worth plunging the government tens of billions of dollars further into debt.

Republicans scoff at the “Jobs for Main Street Act” title that House Democrats put on their $174 billion package last month. They refer to it as “son of the stimulus,” the $787 billion economic recovery plan of nearly a year ago that they say was ineffective at producing jobs.”

How does the old saying go? “Repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity”, or something like that?

Well, that’s exactly what this is. Are there any sane people left in the world? Does anybody remember when they told us that the stimulus package would stop unemployment at eight percent? That didn’t happen, did it? Our government has turned into a remake of the scene from the Steve Martin classic “The Jerk”. You know, the part where he says, “I have this remote control and that’s all I need!”
However, instead of a remote control, our government says that all it needs is just another $174 billion in borrowed/printed money.

Somebody stop the world and let those of us with math skills off, please.

It is beyond obvious at this point that capitalism has been completely scrapped in favor of cracking open Monopoly boxes and handing out money. Anybody with even a rudimentary education in economics and history will tell you that this is completely counterproductive to our free market system, and that it is in fact our free market system that has made America the most powerful and prosperous nation in the history of mankind.

Jobs cannot be created by handing out money arbitrarily. For an economy to remain strong, money most circulate, and that circulation must be spurred by demand. The best way to create demand is by cutting taxes, which would by definition necessitate a cut in government spending. (Agreed, this is a pipe dream, but it is what should happen.)

When you strip away all of the econo-speak, our system is fairly simple. It basically works like this:

Essentially, when money is given back to consumers, “consumption” increases. When consumption increases, demand increases. When demand increases, businesses must expand to meet the demand, and when businesses expand, that means jobs. Real jobs. The kind of jobs that the market sustains on its own, and not the kind of overpriced, phony “shovel ready” job that only lasts a few weeks because there is no demand for what they supposedly produce, and consequently disappear because the artificially created money runs out.

It’s a proven system, and it has worked every single time it’s tried. Yet there are some in positions of power who seem convinced that a government-controlled economy is better, despite all of the historical evidence to the contrary.

Perhaps we should coin a new phrase:

You can send politicians to Washington, but you can’t make them think.

by Art Lindsey III

RICHMOND, Va. — A 90-year-old Medal of Honor recipient can keep his 21-foot flagpole in his front yard after a homeowner’s association dropped its request to remove it, a spokesman for Democratic Virginia Sen. Mark Warner said Tuesday.

Thank goodness. It’s nice to know that some order of sanity can still be maintained out there. What have we come to when homeowners associations are even entertaining the notion of American flags being code violations, let alone actually petitioning to have one removed from a decorated veteran’s home?

It boggles the mind to think that some people actually find one of the greatest symbols of freedom in the history of the human race to be an eyesore. How can this be when the flag is an icon of the one place on Earth where you actually have the right to complain about anything you want without fear of retribution? Wanting to see it removed is rather self-defeating, and well, stupid, isn’t it?

Why is it considered “patriotic” by some to show dissent or to burn a flag, yet to display a flag is interpreted as “offensive” ? Those two things just don’t add up, and one would most likely be hard-hard pressed to find an instance where the display of an American flag actually lowered property values, would they not?

We could spend countless hours debating the usefulness and the true nature of homeowners associations, but that’s not really the point, here. The greater point is that we’ve lost our collective minds. Men like Colonel Van T. Barfoot should be eternally celebrated, not hassled with such trifling things. This man served his country with honor and distinction. He should not be treated as a vandal. It is shameful, and disrespectful to the United States Armed Forces as a whole, and freedom-loving Americans everywhere.

The fact that something like this escalates to the point where White House press secretary Robert Gibbs is forced to comment on it, saying the whole thing was “silly”, once again aids credibility to the argument that common sense in America is in fact dead. Yet, at the same time, Robert Gibbs should be praised for actually getting something right for a change.

Maybe there is “hope” after all.

Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) gave a speech on the senate floor yesterday to push for “Rosa’s Law”. Rosa’s law is a piece of legislation that mandate the phrase “mentally disabled” be used in place of “mentally retarded” when referring to such citizens on health and education paperwork.

“In changing the language, we believe it will be the start of new attitudes towards people with intellectual disabilities.”

-

This madness must end. America is in the middle of two strenuous wars, and we have an economy on the brink of total collapse, yet we have a senator who seems preoccupied with the use of a certain descriptor used in government documentation. Yet again, another bleeding heart Democrat who is more concerned with feeling good, rather than doing good for the nation as a whole.

Now, before I get chastised for being heartless by those who would accuse me of standing in the way of a little girl’s supposed happiness, I would like to disclose the following:

I am physically disabled. I have Cerebral Palsy, which prevents me from walking without the assistance of an orthopedic device or another person. I have been called many things, such as “disabled”, “differently-abled”, “handicapped”, “handi-capable”, “crippled”, and a few other words along the way that can’t be shared here.

Guess what?

In spite of all the labels that have been assigned to me and others like me, one thing has remained constant:

My condition has never changed. People need to learn that while words do have meaning, which is important, context is also a key component in this equation. For instance, “retard” means to slow or hinder. It does not mean “stupid”, and the modifiers “mental” or “mentally” refers to the type of impediment. It is not, in and of itself, an attempt at ridicule or character assassination. Referring to someone as “mentally retarded” in official paperwork is not the same as yelling it in anger toward the person who cut you off at the intersection. It just isn’t. The words have a benign meaning. It’s the context in which they are used that can change them.

Quite frankly, when one looks at this objectively, this proposed law is nothing more than a time wasting exercise by those in our legislature, which will change nothing, except maybe making a few self-loathers feel better about themselves.

For the Record, the namesake of this legislation, Rosa Marcellino, has Down’s syndrome. She is, for all intents and purposes, mentally retarded. She is also 7 years old. With that in mind, one could probably say with a high degree of certainty that Rosa has no interest in official health and education paperwork at this point in her life. So, it stands to reason that this crusade was most likely started by a family member looking for attention, and Rosa is to be used as a face for it.

Honestly, that is just sad.

More than that, has anyone thought of the road this could lead us down? This is one step away from thought policing. How long will it be before legislation is introduced which will prevent us from saying certain words? It may very well be just around the corner. Such measures may never pass, but the mere possibility of such things being proposed should frighten any freedom-loving American.

We should be more concerned with today’s truly pressing matters. There are circumstances today which threaten our very way of life, yet some of our legislative officials seemed more concerned with how you feel, and more importantly, how they feel about themselves. The future of America is too important. We shouldn’t be wasting time on this drivel.

Words are just words. The only powers they have to offend are the ones that we decide to give them.

I knew deep down the other day that my off-hand comment about peanut allergies and other designer suburban diseases in my post about bad journalism would elicit a response. Specifically, I knew that the moveon.org of the nut hunters would be out scanning the internet for heathen words like mine, which would threaten not only Little Joey with the anaphylaxis problem, but that also threaten their very belief that they should be telling anyone’s children what they can and can’t take for lunch. Seriously, with the exception of a cigar and a beer, the kids should have the right to whatever the parent packs.

But I digress. The third comment on my post was from Nutzi scold Dad Ken, telling me about his terrible wind from that piece of cheese he ate in 1973. Poor bastard. I feel sorry for him. No, not because he’s bloated, but because he has nothing else to do but scour the internet looking for comments from people like me that turn his world order on its ass.

That said, one of Kathy’s readers put is all into perspective.

So a few months ago my annoying relative with her peanut threatened hellspawn decided she was going to drum up support to make the nearby town “peanut free”. One of her acolytes wanted to know if my business would support the initiative. “Without reservation” said I. And then I thanked her for setting the precedent.

“What precedent?”

“Well, you see, I’m an alcoholic. I cannot drink it, I cannot be around it, and even having alcohol for sale where I live places me in jeopardy. My doctors will have no problem attesting to this as it’s essentially a life threatening allergy. So once you get peanuts banned, you’ve established a legal precedent for me to have all alcohol removed from [name of town]. I will get the bars closed, the liquor stores shut down, and the town declared an alcohol free zone.”

“You can’t DO that!!!” [She's almost bug-eyed -- this is the dumb @#$% who shows up at family events like baseball parties thrown for our kids with four cases of beer in the back of her SUV, because it's good for kids to see their parents getting @#%-faced and then drive home with them after they've consumed 10 beers apiece.]

“Why not? What makes peanuts so special? You don’t think there aren’t children being put at risk by alcohol? How many children have to die so you can drink a Bud on a Friday night?”

Way to fuck ‘em with their own dick.

Shut up. Really. These nut allergy people are so banal with their Nazi Nut Hatred and their anaphylactic fear of the old fashioned PB&J. Now they’re after your cookies…

Bella Cucina’s Death by Chocolate cookies contain walnuts, which are not declared on the label and could be hazardous to anyone with nut allergies.

Hide your children! Get to the bomb shelters! Somewhere out there are cookies that aren’t wearing their big yellow star… oops, I mean, their allergy label.

These designer kids with their designer allergies need to grow a pair. Yes, of nuts. You know what gives me anaphylaxis? Eggplant. You know why? Because it’s from the Deadly Nightshade family - so there’s a pretty good reason right there not to eat it. But I have. Sometimes it just shows up in food, and since I’m not one of those people who goes screeching into restaurants howling about how fucking fragile I am, I usually don’t think to ask ahead if a certain dish contains it. So I suck it up, drink a couple of cups of strong espresso to reopen the ol’ windpipe, and get the fuck on with it. I’ll die when it’s my time to die. And if you’re so thin-skinned that a peanut will kill you, then your time to die was in the womb. It is merely a credit to science that you’ve remained with us for so long. So long.