Since when did we start destroying bordellos?

Creepy. No mention of multiple cats in the house though. She couldn’t have been that crazy!

An elderly woman has been living with two skeletons and a badly decomposed body of her siblings in a suburb of Chicago, one of whom may have died at least 20 years ago, authorities said on Saturday.

No foul play suspected. Poor old doll… she’s over 90 and was probably just lonely. I hope she gets some decent care.

Sondra K is asking those deep, philosophical questions that usually happen near the tail end of a really good all-night party, when everyone is all mellowed out on the basement floor, munchies sated, too lazy to make out with anyone.

Smurfs: Aryan Nazis and homophobes, or loving inclusive tolerant society?

Suddenly I’m craving cheetos.

I’m quite sure that if we had any neighbors out here at the farm, they would have heard the screaming. If there’s one thing I’m real good at, it’s screaming. My lungs - despite recurring pneumonia that began when I was a toddler living in the damp and dirty tenement slums of Montreal - are strong, and my voice is loud. I scared the chickens today.

Very much like my experience in January jumping out of a plane at 14,000 feet, today I faced my fears by learning something new. Keep in mind, though, that I come from a land of concrete. I moved from those dirty slum basement apartments to giant hi-rises overlooking the cities of Montreal and Toronto. Grass, to me, is something to be smoked, not mowed. And so today when I hopped on the zero-radius seated mower and began spinning in wild circles, I was petrified. Chickens and propane tanks made for effective slaloms. Hills and ditches had me moaning on the way up and shrieking on the way down. Beth was highly amused, even though it looks like her lawn was mowed by drunken circus monkeys (that’s not far off, really).

Those of you who have lived in the suburbs all your life are laughing right now, and with good reason. It was hilarious to watch, and I even found myself laughing, too. Mostly out of fear! Where I come from, trees have metal grates around the bottom of the trunk, allowing them to be watered through the sidewalks in which they grow. The word “park” generally means a paved space with a few benches and little shade. City people complain of hay fever without every having come into contact with actual hay. So to say that this morning’s wild circles and arcs were a bit scary is an understatement.

Next stop: The tractor!

Left: Actor DJ Qualls. Right: That crazy dude that attempted to assassinate Barack Obama.

For two years, a Brooklyn thug sat in an Oregon jail awaiting trial for a coldblooded murder, and all the fat felon could think about was food - a bucket of greasy chicken, a mouthful of lasagna, a slice of pizza.

So when prosecutors offered to buy Tremayne Durham, 36, a fast-food buffet in exchange for a guilty plea that would land him behind bars, likely for the rest of his life, he bit right in.

Durham’s insatiable need for greasy food - which included gorging on KFC and Popeye’s chicken, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, carrot cake, along with a pizza, two calzones, lasagna and ice cream - cost Oregon taxpayers only $41.70.

Durham is a man who has problems saying no to his impulses.

Sometimes it’s just too easy.

Seven prisons and a nudist colony.

No, really.

While driving back from the county fair this evening, Robin (the fudge guru) told us about a road trip she had taken with the family that brought them to a place called Camp Gaea. Turns out, it’s a pagan nudist camp (needless to say, she and the fam turned right around). So she showed us the way this evening.

Camp Gaea. In rural Kansas. Good GAWD! Seven prisons and a nudist camp. Welcome to the Peyton Place of the Midwest.

A feathered hat.

A goat in a tree.

A slutty conversation with an ex-boss.

An angry conversation with an ex-boyfriend.

Cousins falling out of the woodwork like termites.

An 8lb dog chasing an 80lb dog.

Omar Sharif.

Getting into a leaky boat.

Some of these things happened yesterday, some were part of a mashup of dream sequences last night. Even I’m not sure which was which at this point!

Wow. I really wish I’d been around for this.

Diamonds and precious metals found in the eastern United States might have rained down during the last Ice Age after a comet shattered over Canada and set North America ablaze, all leading to a mass die-off of animals and humans.

I always miss the cool stuff.

A Canadian fiddler who is no stranger to controversy has put half his future music earnings up for sale on eBay, the auction website.

Ashley MacIsaac, who says he declared personal bankruptcy in 2000, is seeking a minimum bid of C$1.5 million (744 million pounds) from an investor who would in turn get half of what the Cape Breton musician earns during the rest of his career.

Isn’t he in jail for pissing on his underage fiddler-diddler?

Oh well, there’s a sucker born every minute - someone will buy this guy’s non-existent career.

The analysts had to also estimate how often people with disabilities play miniature golf and whether they would go more often if courses were more wheelchair-friendly.

Good gawd! Analysts have way too much time on their hands.

A life-size replica of a Vancouver traffic cop pointing a radar gun at oncoming traffic was unveiled Thursday on city streets.

The police force has up to eight replica cops that initially will be deployed on Knight Street to try to reduce speeding and traffic fatalities.

Maybe Vancouver should have spent a little less on its 2010 Olympic plans, if it’s cutting into the police budget. Or perhaps the money was spent on “safe injection” sites. Either way, it seems like a bit of a desperate attempt at control by a city that has completely dropped the ball.

The fake officers were relatively inexpensive to make, Pauw said.

“We got the city sign shop to put them together, so it’s really only the cost of the plastic,” he said, adding the cardboard is covered in rainproof plastic, so any graffiti just wipes off.

I’m sure that will be very comforting to someone with car trouble or who is lost, and wants to turn to their local constabulary for assistance. I’m sure the citizenry is thrilled at the use of their tax dollars for fake cops.

D’you think the fake ones are unionized, too?

Who knew?

Muslim scientists and clerics have called for the adoption of Mecca time to replace GMT, arguing that the Saudi city is the true centre of the Earth.
Mecca is the direction all Muslims face when they perform their daily prayers.

One geologist argued that unlike other longitudes, Mecca’s was in perfect alignment to magnetic north.

He said the English had imposed GMT on the rest of the world by force when Britain was a big colonial power, and it was about time that changed.

Man faces five years in jail after hitting a boy with… a hedgehog

You just can’t make this stuff up, people.

This photo was taken by Ali Hashisho for Reuters.

Where did Palestinian militants and their supporters get bagpipes? it’s looks like a party in Glasgow after Celtic beat Rangers.

Cracked.com rounds up the all time least romantic song lyrics.

“As we followed in the dance,
Between the parted pages and were pressed,
In love’s hot, fevered iron,
Like a striped pair of pants.”

Women have been compared to many things. Roses, honey and now a pair of striped pants. Not just any striped pants however, but a pair that is wrinkled, and thus needs to be ironed.

Touching. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Etcetera.

I think I would be more afraid of the misuse of funds, than of the “ghosts“.

British officials paids [sic] a psychic to exorcise a supposed poltergeist from state housing after the distressed occupants said otherwise they would leave and become homeless, a council official said on Tuesday.

Easington Council in County Durham said the family could not be persuaded to stay in the house, and that through paying half the psychic ghosthunter’s 120 pound ($235) fee they were saving money as otherwise they would have had to pay for emergency housing.

The Fallon family told reporters they heard banging from the loft, saw items fly across rooms and had doors slammed in their faces. They called police, who found nothing. Then they called in psychic Suzanne Hadwin and asked the council to help pay.

Boo!

TORONTO — Research In Motion Ltd.’s ubiquitous BlackBerry experienced a “critical severity outage” on Monday afternoon that left users stranded without wireless e-mail access, its maker said.

RIM notified its clients of the outage IN AN EMAIL.

Heh.

Angry Thai Women Lead the World in Penis Slashings