Been up to my eyeballs in my semi-adopted faith this week, with two assignments for the Jewish Tribune. (Don’t tell my editor - Hi Norm! - that I’m working on his articles at the same time as writing this post. While we’re at it, let’s also pretend that I never said anything negative about Frank Dimant’s affection for the Human Rights Commission. *ahem*)

My week began with a snowstorm, which saw my friend Paige and I brave the elements to attend a great concert for Chai Lifeline staring Dudu Fisher (fans of Les Miz know exactly who I’m talking about), and ended with more snow and a trip to Queen’s Park, this time to hear MPP Peter Shurman talk about Israeli Apartheid Week at York University.

I hate Queen’s Park. I hate it with a passion. Not just because of the collection of corrupt poo-flinging circus monkeys it holds - I hate the whole idea of Queen’s Park. University Avenue is a moat around that place. It’s as if the government is saying (and let’s face it, they probably are) “Fuck the voters. Once we’re in here, we’re done with those scabby sons o’bitches!” There is no safe way to traverse University Avenue and arrive at the front door of Ontario’s seat of government. Then you get inside, and insult is heaped upon your potentially car-wrecked person. I’m a blogger. I’ve been one for six years. It may seem like a lowly hobby to some, but over the years I’ve been given the opportunity - been invited, in fact - to talk with our Prime Minister, several members of federal and provincial government, United States senators, congresspeople and other decision makers, and been within spitting distance of both the president and vice president. But I couldn’t ask a question at a Queen’s Park press conference to which I was personally invited? No, not in the press gallery, but in a separate media room. What? As a voting citizen of Ontario, I should have had the right to ask a question, let alone as a freelance journalist. Apparently a media pass is needed not just for the gallery, but for press conferences, too. Excuse me?

On the plus side, I did get to play with a Mac for the first time today. Whee! It’s like the cocaine they put in Big Macs (hmmm… mac… coincidence?). Now I want one. Oooh, also, a TTC employee said Good Morning to me randomly today. It was surreal. I thought I was on Candid Camera, or whatever cheap knock-off of it is playing on ABC these days.

Anyway, back to my articles. They pay me to write them, after all. Oh, speaking of which, thanks to everyone who bought Ali Hale’s Bloggers’ Guide to Effective Writing thorugh Girl on the Write. It’s a great resource, and by purchasing it through GOTW, I get a few coins tossed my way. Gracias.

Blogging from my BlackBerry. So no links - just random thoughts.

SeaWorld killing. Am I the only one who laughed? Seriously, think about it from the whale’s perspective. There he is doing soft-shoe minstrel shows for a bunch of crackers three times a day for fucking YEARS, and he finally snaps and kills an overseer. It’s like Roots or something! The whale oughta be given a medal and left the fuck alone.

I’m moving next week. My travails are finally coming to an end. About bloody time, too. The things I’ve seen in the last 6 months would be enough to make my readers’ hair stand on end and promptly fall out.

Gays - according to another beauty queen - should be put to death. Hmmm… There are quite a few stupid, misbehaving, irresponsible straight people I know who will die long before a lot of queers. Either way, the choices you make will usually decide the outcome.

Rachel Maddow is one of Martin Sheen’s sons. I’m sure of it.

Ok, I’m in a comfy bed tonight, so I’ll be asleep soon. I hope I dream of killer Killer Whales.

There are so many moments of hilarity in this (Wagstaff?), I don’t know where to begin. Thanks, Sondra.

Animal expert Jack Hanna and an 11-month-old flamingo became trapped while trying to squeeze through an airport security turnstile. It took firefighters to finally get the flamingo out.

Man, nowadays they’ll stop anyone at airport security, won’t they?

Hanna joked that the next time he flies through the airport, the biggest animal he’ll bring is a gerbil.

Richard Gere could not be reached for comment.

A woman in Australia is crushed to death when her frisky young pet camel tries to hump her.

A British man robs a bookies using a vibrator as a weapon.

Someone took the time to translate a large portion of the Bible into LOLCATZ-speak.

And Queen of Mean Leona Helmsley died of heart failure. Who knew that was even possible??