I just want to give a special shoutout to pal Mark Steyn for not having written about them. I couldn’t handle the jealousy and rejection. Thanks, babe.

In other news, “breasts” will now often be referred to here as “blogettes”.

Save the blogettes!

Note. For those of you with either a) no sense of humor, or b) humor, but are totally scared of the shit that comes out of my mouth, this post is FUNNY. Funny, ok? Written in jest. Relax. Have a TicTac.

The last thing I remember was my third martini at my birthday party on October 2. This party was attended by dear friend Josephine and her hubby Dutch, who gave me a small Moleskine notebook. Moleskines are famous for having been used by the likes of Vincent Van Gogh, who famously cut off his ear and then shot himself, and Ernest Hemingway, who blew his brains out and kicked off a string of suicides in the Hemingway family that probably isn’t over yet. For all I know, Hunter S. Thompson used one for his (pre-blog era) “Gonzo Journalism”. Thompsons’s ashes - the remains of his self-inflicted gunshot wound - were shot out of a cannon, as per his request, in 2005.

Today Josephine writes on Lumpy of children’s author Robert Munsch and his mental illness and thoughts of suicide. Though her article makes no mention of his choice of notebook to write in, I’m seeing a pattern here.

Geez, Josephine!I can take a hint!

Ok, off to write something more profound than this drivel.

My typing is still recovering from the week that was. So here’s a vlog instead. Yes, I’m well aware that I have a great face for radio.

Because everyone needs a break now and then.

Thanks to all those of you who have called and left messages. Thanks and apologies to Josephine and Dutch, who I must have scared the shit out of. I hope I didn’t make you too late.

I’m not going to thank whoever was pounding on my door and shouting my name earlier today, because that was just rude.

I am taking some off the grid, underground time. If any of you reading this have posting privileges, do feel free to use them.

And everyone, please remember to do a little something to advance the cause of Breast Cancer Research this month.

I’m going back to bed.

The screaming harpie of Canadian cultural handouts - Margaret Atwood - is upset because British Columbia is cutting arts funding to pay for the Olympic Albatross that hangs from the collective necks of the Canadian taxpayer.

Members of Canada’s arts elite are banding together to mount a high-level fight against recently announced cuts to arts funding in British Columbia.

Margaret Atwood, Douglas Coupland and Sarah McLachlan are among the artists named in a campaign being launched today. Organizers are hoping to use the star power to reverse what they say are devastating cuts to arts and culture funding.

“We felt these cuts were so outrageous that we were going to be able to get everybody instantly on side,” said Lindsay Brown of Stop B.C. Arts Cuts. “Everybody I asked said yes.”

Ok, so the artistes are upset about arts cuts. Fair enough. But may I remind you of this?

Upwards of 2,500 patients waiting for surgery for everything from blocked arteries to cancer to hernias will find their elective surgeries postponed during the 2010 Winter Olympics.

In a pair of decisions just now becoming public, the Vancouver Coastal and Fraser Health Authorities say they have decided to cut by 35 per cent the number of elective surgeries performed over a one-month period in February and March, 2010.

If The Atwood and other sub-par Canadian artists actually gave a damn about the people of the country, they would have either shut up entirely, or protested cutting surgeries instead of grants for bad poetry and boring paintings.

But, alas…

Ms. Atwood finds it maddening. “Why is the B.C. government cutting the throat of B.C.’s economy and its creative future in this short-sighted and frankly really dumb way?” she e-mailed The Globe and Mail yesterday.

The throat of the economy? Seriously? How does this woman look at herself every morning?

Yes folks, it’s that time of the year again. My birthday is on Saturday, October 3rd. Those of you unsure of what to get me or where to send it are encouraged to hit the tip jar to the right of the page.

Events planned for this year? Well, a party on Friday night. Possibly heading to the TEA Party in London on Saturday - not yet confirmed. It involves a very early morning departure - but I shall try.

Saturday, October 3rd is my birthday, and London, Ontario is throwing me a TEA Party!

London S.O.S. (Stop Over-Spending) Rally!

On October 3 2009 from 12:00pm until 2:00pm, the Forest City Institute invites you to join us at Reg Cooper Square (behind City Hall) and let London’s city council and bureaucrats know it is time to end London’s decade of darkness.

Share the event via Facebook!

Saturday, October 3, 2009
12:00pm – 2:00pm
Reg Cooper Square, behind City Hall
300 Dufferen Avenue
London, Ontario, Canada

Phone:   519-438-8606
alawton@forestcityinstitute.ca

“Inspired by the success of the TEA Parties in the United States, it’s time for Londoners — and all Canadians — to take a stand in the Forest City against the mismanagement of our money at any level of government, and inform Canadians on what the bureaucrats are really doing with our money.

“Come and join the Forest City Institute in Reg Cooper Square for music, great speakers, and a rally against high taxes, and tell the government to stop over-spending.

Come and hear guest speakers like Kathy Shaidle, whose last visit to our city spurred the Freeps’ smear campaign that actually helped sell out the event!

Do you speak any Somali dialects, because I don’t.

Well kids, I’m outta here for a day or so. Longtime reader KP is going to be in Niagara Falls today, and I figure if he could make the first 2500 or so miles, I could get my ass on a bus the rest of the way from Toronto. KP has been with Girl on the Right forever. Right from the beginning. I can’t wait to meet him and make him buy me dinner. Heh. It’s also Topless Wednesday, so this could be awwwkward…

So while I’m out, entertain yourselves by checking out what Binks is up to over at Free Mark Steyn.

Come to think of it, go see what The Steyn himself is up to.

The Other McCain has become a highlight of most days for me. He posts constantly, so put him in your RSS reader.

Bruce Bawer is in Canada to promote his latest book, Surrender: Appeasing Islam, Sacrificing Freedom. There’s going to be a live session with him from Montreal at 7pm EST. The intro will be in French, everything else in English. I hate and despise UStream with a passion I generally reserve only for Islam, but this time I would say to make the effort. If you can’t get the connection to hold without jamming, it is NOT the fault of the organizers of the event. It’s UStream. UStream is ass.

That said, without further ado… 7pm EST Wednesday September 16, 2009

EDIT: Once the moment passed, I took out all the UStream shit. It’s soooo bad. Seriously. If you ever wanted the site to load, you should thank me.

Due to current health issues and various real-life inanities, I am unable to attend the Smart Girl Summit in Nashville this coming Friday. It’s a sold out event, with a waiting list of more than 100 people - male and female - hoping to get in.

So, Smart Girl Politics is auctioning off my ticket!

There’s a catch - you have to be a Brass Balls Radio Correspondent. That means calling in a few times throughout the summit to report on what’s going on, who’s there, and provide any interviews you can with the speakers. Speakers include Liz Cheney and Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn.

So here’s what you get:

• Ticket to Smart Girl Summit
• Smart Girl Politics swag bag
• One Brass Balls Radio personalized “correspondent” mug
• A guest spot on Brass Balls Radio

But wait, there’s more!

If the winning bid goes about $200, SGP will kick in a free ticket to their special private dinner with Michelle Malkin, and a copy of her new book, Culture of Corruption.

What are you waiting for? You know you wanna be me, even if it’s just for a day…

Click here to place a bid.

PS - I’m told there’s a bottle of El Grado Tequila waiting for me in Nashville. Yes, you can have that, too.

PPS - Bidding and attendance are NOT limited to girls or people who are particularly smart. We don’t discriminate.

Brian Lilley is the new Canada Politics Examiner.

Lilley has been a Canadian political journo forever. I only met him once, long ago, and even then he was working the political scene.

It was a Tuesday, I believe.

Anyway, go check Brian out at Examiner. And if you have something to say, leave a comment. He’s great about breaking complicated political information down into bites the average Joe can understand.

All the best, Brian!

No one is reading, so there’s no point in writing.

Most people are at their cottages etc for the last long weekend of summer. I’m stuck in the city, probably looking after your pets. Don’t mind me, I’s jus’ da house nigga.

So I will spend the weekend getting ahead on next week’s work, and vegging as best I can.

Consider this an open thread for anyone who happens to be around.

Take That! Radio has scored a home run with Out In Right Field, a political talk show starring Art Lindsey and Mark Hopkins.

Previously Out In Right Field was on RFC Radio as part of the Tuesday night lineup. However Mark and Art have decided to make a change to a podcast-only format.

Says Art, 8 year veteran of web radio:

Streaming internet radio is dead. I started in 2000, when it was a new thing. The only way you could get shows was to tune in at a certain time and listen live. It was very “1940’s radio”, and Mark and I both miss those days. It was so much fun.

The first Out In Right Field show under the Take That! banner will air next Tuesday, September 1 on iTunes and on the Take That! Radio website.

Mark and Art join the excellent Take That! crew of Brass Balls Radio with Wendy Sullivan and Mike Williams, The Right Doctor with Dr. Melissa Clouthier, Raisin’ Hale with Tabitha Hale and The Steve Schippert Show (we’ll leave you to guess who stars in that).

All of us at Take That! Radio are very glad to have the talented and technically savvy Mark Hopkins and Art Lindsey as part of our team. Welcome aboard.

Now, let’s play ball!

I sleep a lot these days, get tired easy, and refuse to let my clients know what happened - this means a certain about of overwork on my part, which is bad.

So really, I got nuttin’ for today. Go read Free Canuckistan - Binks has a new post up.

Also, I love this story.

To blatantly rip off a line from Kate at Small Dead Animals, now is the time when we juxtapose.

May 2006: The United Nation’s “sex-for-food” scandal continues to spread. As the human rights group Save the Children documents in a new report, U.N. peacekeepers in the war-torn, refugee-rich Liberia have been accused of selling food for sex from girls as young as 8.

August 2009: Afghanistan has enacted a new legislation empowering men of Shia sect of Islam to deny their wives food and sustenance if they refuse to obey their husbands’ sexual demands, a media report said on Saturday.

We can pooh-pooh this all we want, and judge to our heart’s content, but countries who send the blue-helmeted bastards over to war-torn countries with plenty of condoms and no guns with which to protect people are just as guilty.

Ted Nugent was fired from the Waco Tribune-Herald for not being a mealy-mouthed little pussy who bows and scrapes to his PC overlords.

As Kathy says: “Who did they think they were hiring?”

Listen Nuge, I’ve been there. Not so very long ago I was hired by a start-up establishment to be my charming, mouthy, unfiltered self. They said they loved my product. They said they loved my edge. But once faced with it, they freaked. But the sponsors! they cried. You frightened Scott Ott away! they lamented (Because poor Mr. Ott is apparently the only person on the web that matters. Hmmm.). OMG! You said fuck!

Well, yeah. You know, seeing as I was hired to be RightGirl and not Captain fucking Kangaroo, I kinda figured you actually wanted me to be RightGirl. Oh, and you also weren’t paying me. So, uh, my intellectual property doesn’t change to your will for that particular dollar amount, bitches.

What I’m saying Ted is Welcome to the cool kids club. If they can’t take the Nuge, they shouldn’t have hired you in the first place. You don’t hire Howard Stern to read the traffic and weather. You don’t hire RightGirl for her politically correct diplomacy. And you don’t hire Ted Nugent to be a wallflower.

People really are that stupid.

I can’t be everywhere, especially with budgets being what they are. But dayum, if I could have been anywhere this past weekend, it would have been at the RightOnline conference in Pittsburgh.

All the cool kids were there. John Hawkins has pics!

Tabitha Hale is ridiculously small next to Joe the Plumber. Hilarious!

We at Take That! Radio (Mike Williams, Tabitha Hale, Steve Schippert and myself) are really happy for Melissa Clouthier, who scored a great interview with Michelle Malkin which will air on The Right Doctor.

Melissa and Michelle discuss Michelle’s new book (of course), First Lady Deltoids, and the incestuous relationship between the Obama White House and the press.

Michelle even makes her own musical selection for the show (which is always a pernicious topic in the Take That! studio).

Melissa’s show will air tomorrow night at 10pm EST on RFC Radio or you can download the podcast on Thursday by clicking here to subscribe on iTunes (link opens iTunes).

Congratulations, Melissa. Can’t wait to hear it.

Yesterday I posted (with breasts) that the “Be mean to Jennifer Lynch” contest winning t-shirts were now available for sale.

Well, thanks to a link from Mark Steyn (also with my breasts), Alexander of Hollywood sold a bunch of them.

So today he’s feeling generous. Alex tells us that instead of donating $5 to the Ezra/Kathy/Kate/etc defense fund from the Lynch tees, he’s gonna do it from the sale of EVERY shirt in his inventory.

Check out all 60+ shirts at Hollywood Loser.

Personal Note: My two favorite shirts from Alexander’s get very different reactions. The Shaidle-inspired “You’re not smart enough to tell me how to live” gets lost of positive comments on the streets of Toronto (and in NYC, where I wore it recently).

The “Your head would look good on a pike” is great for those antisocial days when you’re pleased to see people crossing the street to avoid you. Strongly recommended in menstrual red, to make your statement all the more poignant.