A happy relationship must be a give and take situation. If one partner is shouldering most of the load, sooner than later there is going to be trouble. The problem in a situation like this is that the spouse doing all the taking becomes more and more complacent and relies on the other almost completely. They never see it coming when the final straw breaks the partners back and suddenly they have had enough.
Unfortunately, it is usually the wife of today that carries the overload. In today’s economy it takes two incomes to keep a family’s head above water. This alone can cause tension in a relationship. Gone are the days of the wife that could stay at home and cook and clean and tend to the domestic needs of the family.
The modern wife and mother has to wear several hats. She usually has a full time job, from which she comes home from exhausted, only to be met with the children’s problems and the almost immediate need to feed them. Next comes the husband in a rush to eat and get going because tonight is his bowling night. The wife is faced with doing the dishes, putting the children to bed and straightening up the house.
This can go on as pretty much a routine, with the wife and mother taken more and more for granted. Until one day when it dawns on her that there must be more to life than this. She loves her children and her husband but she feels used. Then depression sets in. She feels trapped in a situation from which there seems no escape and her depression deepens.
The reason that this situation is so common in marriage relationships is the tendency for people once they are married, to fall into certain roles. The wife feels that she should cook, clean the house and care for the children. The husband feels that he should be the bread winner and do small repairs and tasks about the house. This is natural. In fact it is in our genes.
But today’s marriage relationship can no longer be that way, not when both spouses need full time jobs. A marriage today is a partnership like never before with duties split right down the middle. No this is my duty and that’s yours. Men must share the care of the children. Men must share the household duties of cooking and cleaning.
But, even if the duties are split equally and each spouse is doing their share, there is something else that must be considered in a healthy relationship. It’s the fact that men and women are different and even though they might try to deny it, the fact is that women require more love and consideration than men. So, a tender word, a hug and a kiss, not occasionally, but often will go along way to making for a happy marriage relationship.